Myself and my current family.

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I believe that my wife is probably BPD. I am 72 years old and my wife is 23  years younger. We have been married for 18 years. She is Russian but has been a US citizen since 2004. Considering the situation, I expected her to leave after she received her green card (at 3 years), but she didn't; I expected her to leave after she got her citizenship (at 5 years). but she didn't; in fact, she is still here after 18 years. We lived in my house for the first 5 years and she had to pay nothing. There was no mortgage on the house but she didn't like it (it was a rather nice old brick house. It was not ideal for a family of 3. Her son, my step son, arrived here when he was barely 4 years old. He spoke no English (but he learned it well enough to try to teach me Russian in just a few months. He is now almost 22 and speaks English perfectly; she speaks English perfectly too (she learned a lot of it while she was still in Russia) but still has a strong accent and also usually speaks VERY softly which makes her sometimes hard to understand. When she held a job long enough to qualify for a mortgage (she had been fired from all of her jobs for the first 4 years; she went to RN school and passed with almost all As and is now an RN (and has been since 2003), she bought a better house and we all moved into it in 2005. We still live there and she makes all the payments including all utilities. I feel sorry for her but I am retired and in fair health and my only income is Social Security with zero assets. I buy most of the food, cable TV, cell phones, car insurance for myself and my my step son. (he just started college last semester after doing nothing but play computer games since he graduated from high school). He hates his mother and almost always totally ignores he. If she walks into a room, he immediately leaves and goes to his room and shuts the door. He has no friends (and neither does she nor I). He never goes out unless it is to run an errand for me or to take me somewhere. Anyway, my wife is extremely delusional, very paranoid, and has the worst inferiority complex I have ever seen. It is sad because is is clearly very intelligent, but she wants everyone to think she is a "bubble-head". I will explain this in more detail in another message. I am an attorney (since 1972 (but don't actively practice except to give advice to people I worked with or my wife or step-son). I received my MSSW (same as an MSW) in 1979 (with a 3.9 GPA) and was hired immediately as a professor of law and social work (in the social work department) at a major university aaa9in fact had to leave my MSSW program 2 weeks before it ended to get there in time and later taught counseling full-time at a college and later as an adjunct at another college. I spent most of the years from 1989 as a therapist (with an LCSW) or the directorr of acute care psychiatric units in acute care general hospitals or as a corprate clinical director for a large outpatient counseling organization. I gave up my LCSW when I retired in 2010 (after being an LCSW for 21 years). I am still a clinical social worker, and always will be) but without a license for it. My wife's great mood swings (she is not bi-polar) affect me greatly although I have learned to mostly control it with anti-depressants and experience with her and as an LCSW. She is extremely emotionally distant and doesn't like affection at all. She has been like this since the day she arrived here, but, of course, was not like that at all when I visited her in Russia. She ran away 4 days after she got here and told people who were helping her she never wanted to see me again. I called her 10 year older sister in Russia and she told me that my (Fiance at the time) was crazy (apparently her sister was correct). Note: Crazy is not an accepted theraputic diagnosis, but it is used informally and unprofessionally a lot. Obviously she came back in 4 more days and talked me into marrying her.I was very uncertain about it at the timeand still am (except for financial reasons, and that didn't even apply for the first 5 years but does now (after I retired). I am going to try to pursue an immigration law practice online to make some money (and also to be a volunteer to do free immigration legal research for the Southern Poverty Law Center  (SPLC). I am almost always for the underdog and believe no one! should to have to pay to have their legal rights upheld (I worked for Legal Services for 3.5 years). That's all for now. More later.

[floydgg]

I believe that my wife is probably BPD. I am 72 years old and my wife is 23  years younger. We have been married for 18 years. She is Russian but has been a US citizen since 2004. Considering the situation, I expected her to leave after she received her green card (at 3 years), but she didn't; I expected her to leave after she got her citizenship (at 5 years). but she didn't; in fact, she is still here after 18 years. We lived in my house for the first 5 years and she had to pay nothing. There was no mortgage on the house but she didn't like it (it was a rather nice old brick house. It was not ideal for a family of 3. Her son, my step son, arrived here when he was barely 4 years old. He spoke no English (but he learned it well enough to try to teach me Russian in just a few months. He is now almost 22 and speaks English perfectly; she speaks English perfectly too (she learned a lot of it while she was still in Russia) but still has a strong accent and also usually speaks VERY softly which makes her sometimes hard to understand. When she held a job long enough to qualify for a mortgage (she had been fired from all of her jobs for the first 4 years; she went to RN school and passed with almost all As and is now an RN (and has been since 2003), she bought a better house and we all moved into it in 2005. We still live there and she makes all the payments including all utilities. I feel sorry for her but I am retired and in fair health and my only income is Social Security with zero assets. I buy most of the food, cable TV, cell phones, car insurance for myself and my my step son. (he just started college last semester after doing nothing but play computer games since he graduated from high school). He hates his mother and almost always totally ignores he. If she walks into a room, he immediately leaves and goes to his room and shuts the door. He has no friends (and neither does she nor I). He never goes out unless it is to run an errand for me or to take me somewhere. Anyway, my wife is extremely delusional, very paranoid, and has the worst inferiority complex I have ever seen. It is sad because is is clearly very intelligent, but she wants everyone to think she is a "bubble-head". I will explain this in more detail in another message. I am an attorney (since 1972 (but don't actively practice except to give advice to people I worked with or my wife or step-son). I received my MSSW (same as an MSW) in 1979 (with a 3.9 GPA) and was hired immediately as a professor of law and social work (in the social work department) at a major university aaa9in fact had to leave my MSSW program 2 weeks before it ended to get there in time and later taught counseling full-time at a college and later as an adjunct at another college. I spent most of the years from 1989 as a therapist (with an LCSW) or the directorr of acute care psychiatric units in acute care general hospitals or as a corprate clinical director for a large outpatient counseling organization. I gave up my LCSW when I retired in 2010 (after being an LCSW for 21 years). I am still a clinical social worker, and always will be) but without a license for it. My wife's great mood swings (she is not bi-polar) affect me greatly although I have learned to mostly control it with anti-depressants and experience with her and as an LCSW. She is extremely emotionally distant and doesn't like affection at all. She has been like this since the day she arrived here, but, of course, was not like that at all when I visited her in Russia. She ran away 4 days after she got here and told people who were helping her she never wanted to see me again. I called her 10 year older sister in Russia and she told me that my (Fiance at the time) was crazy (apparently her sister was correct). Note: Crazy is not an accepted theraputic diagnosis, but it is used informally and unprofessionally a lot. Obviously she came back in 4 more days and talked me into marrying her.I was very uncertain about it at the timeand still am (except for financial reasons, and that didn't even apply for the first 5 years but does now (after I retired). I am going to try to pursue an immigration law practice online to make some money (and also to be a volunteer to do free immigration legal research for the Southern Poverty Law Center  (SPLC). I am almost always for the underdog and believe no one! should to have to pay to have their legal rights upheld (I worked for Legal Services for 3.5 years). That's all for now. More later.