I was doing great then she messaged

[Depression = 72% of members]

I was doing great then she messaged saying how sorry she is for not returning some stuff and that she might be able to drop off this weekend. To which I did reply saying don't come to my house for any reason. Most of her friends and associates are sketchy at best. I also said no need to apologize. For that. It opened up a back and forth I wish I hadn't participated in. She went from saying how she certainly does love me wishing the conversation was going better. And thy we should let it go for now and talk later. Because sadly I did point out so very many cruel things that had been said and done. She completely just doesn't get it. For the most part detaches and can't acknowledge anything. Pretends most didn't happen. In any event I did leave it by saying anything I may have felt in my mistaken naievete has been destroyed and is no longer there. So better idea would be to not talk again ever because there is no point as I wouldn't believe anything she said no matter. Thing is she was questioning as to how it is I would see her as being mean or cruel etc. After saying how further contact was pointless as far as I am concerned I should have stopped replying. The last few back and forth a were along the lines of a sentence or two where I expressed some sadness about the inevitable end and her response was . I said something like how unique a response to someone you just said you love. Lol. A couple more compassionate words. Replied . I did make it clear that my best suggestion was to delete all my contact info and forget we had ever met. I had deleted most contact info already other than her actual phone number. Which I did along with all the texts threads from over our time together. Just a surreal experience that I wish I would have refrained from participating in. A lost cause. If I had to reply at all it should have simply been to say no problemo keep the stuff and have a nice life. Thing is I really really did not want her showing up at my house and having any of her acquaintances know where I live. That got me hooked and it was clear to me any reaction was good for her as I'm sure she was just killing time while bored , and no doubt had just had some sort of issue with my replacement. Which of course she had in the wings prior to me ending our relationship. Which my earlier posts I've already described in detail. Point of this rant is maintain NC no matter the temptation. Always the best policy difficult as it can be.

[Bushes]

I was doing great then she messaged saying how sorry she is for not returning some stuff and that she might be able to drop off this weekend. To which I did reply saying don't come to my house for any reason. Most of her friends and associates are sketchy at best. I also said no need to apologize. For that. It opened up a back and forth I wish I hadn't participated in. She went from saying how she certainly does love me wishing the conversation was going better. And thy we should let it go for now and talk later. Because sadly I did point out so very many cruel things that had been said and done. She completely just doesn't get it. For the most part detaches and can't acknowledge anything. Pretends most didn't happen. In any event I did leave it by saying anything I may have felt in my mistaken naievete has been destroyed and is no longer there. So better idea would be to not talk again ever because there is no point as I wouldn't believe anything she said no matter. Thing is she was questioning as to how it is I would see her as being mean or cruel etc. After saying how further contact was pointless as far as I am concerned I should have stopped replying. The last few back and forth a were along the lines of a sentence or two where I expressed some sadness about the inevitable end and her response was . I said something like how unique a response to someone you just said you love. Lol. A couple more compassionate words. Replied . I did make it clear that my best suggestion was to delete all my contact info and forget we had ever met. I had deleted most contact info already other than her actual phone number. Which I did along with all the texts threads from over our time together. Just a surreal experience that I wish I would have refrained from participating in. A lost cause. If I had to reply at all it should have simply been to say no problemo keep the stuff and have a nice life. Thing is I really really did not want her showing up at my house and having any of her acquaintances know where I live. That got me hooked and it was clear to me any reaction was good for her as I'm sure she was just killing time while bored , and no doubt had just had some sort of issue with my replacement. Which of course she had in the wings prior to me ending our relationship. Which my earlier posts I've already described in detail. Point of this rant is maintain NC no matter the temptation. Always the best policy difficult as it can be.

[Fishmedic]

Hey bushes, 
 
How long ago was the B/U? How long have you been N/C? 
 
I ask, because i feel like this is the exact situation i'm beginning to fear/dread/anticipate. She split on me back around Mothers Day, so 2 months now, directly to my replacement. I messaged her once a week later, as she wore home all my clothes the week before, and has a few other things. Anyways, she refused to return any belongings, started a fight, told me her knew man treats her in ways i never did etc etc, then had him threaten me to never contact her again because I'M the manipulative, abusive psychopath... .Havent heard a peep in 2 months, except Tuesday, she showed up at the gym again, knowing full well thats when i go. She didnt speak or even look at me, but demonstrated some bizarre behaviour that multiple friends i know also witnessed. She looked enraged, angry, moving 100mph. Very strange. My T said without a doubt she's testing the waters, and it's inevitable she makes contact very soon. So i'm still preparing for what you just went through. I dont know if i could just completely ignore her, especially if she ramps it up and keeps contacting. Anyways, we all make mistakes, thats what makes us human. It's how we learn and grow. By the sounds of it she'll be contacting you again shortly. What are you doing to prepare?

[patientandclear]

Her "LOL"S were probably just an immature, awkward way for her to process your words of regret after you told her you don't ever want to talk with her again. That's a hard message to receive--being cut off forever from someone who once meant a lot to you and who you mis-handled due to emotional compulsion. She was likely hurt and feeling rejected, and couldn't or didn't switch into a contemplative review of your relationship.

The details of an exchange like this are often the product of lots of pent-up feelings, defensiveness and a few awkwardly chosen words. It sounds like you conveyed some important information to her (that you were hurt, that she mattered to you, that you're sad how it ended). It's OK to let her process that and not expect an instant and perfect response. You also told her you're not available to be part of her life and that is also a hard message to get, even if fully warranted and a reasonable choice on your part.

I've participated in a few "ships passing in the night" conversations with my ex wBPD, where actually we were both trying to communicate something important and not unkind, but triggered each other and then spiraled into withdrawal, guardedness and some defensive barbs. It's just imperfect communication with a lot of elevated feelings in the mix to start with. I suggest cutting yourself and her both some slack--it's hard to have that conversation.