formflier-
I am going to mull over the separation of theory about what "he has a right to do" and is justified vs what I am obligated or want to do. I am afraid that I am bowing to FOG when I do this. You see, usually it starts with a slight -real or perceived-that I commit. Sometimes it catches me off-guard and I reply with a retort or JADE. Then the tantrum begins as I "didn't own or take responsibility" for my action. Dissecting this process, I see that even if I do commit the error, I can't allow myself to get sucked in when he throws his disparaging comment at me. If I do, then on comes the tantrum.
His reasoning that he did nothing wrong by showing the video is that he was looking for validation from his coworkers that indeed, my son was making a "drug den" for himself. He also wanted everyone to know that he had cleaned the basement out in the fall and "look at this disrespect" shown. When I said it was a violation of my privacy, he retorted with "if there's nothing wrong with it you shouldn't feel your privacy was violated"
Bf said it looks like white trash down there-it doesn't. It is still clean -and to top it off, my son hasn't even been down there since he set it up!
Grey kitty I think that your suggestion is a very good way of tossing the ball back in his court. I honestly feel I am doing so much to make things right.
