Finding my voice

[Depression = 72% of members]

Today after another horrible text message I decided to google daughters of mothers who have BPD.   I have a mother in denial of having this disorder.  My mother is a daughter of BPD.  That grandmother lived with me good part of my childhood and when we broke free from her I was in high school.  I never thought I would see the disorder again.  Then one day my mom started to change and I'm living the BPD life again.  I would say from around the end of my high school year the signs started to show.  Her behavior at this point is brutal to the point I'm fearing of having to cut ties with her.  The story is long and deeper.  But I'm hoping to find support and others who understand what I am going thru.  I am afraid of becoming my mother every day.

[Swkgrl]

Today after another horrible text message I decided to google daughters of mothers who have BPD.   I have a mother in denial of having this disorder.  My mother is a daughter of BPD.  That grandmother lived with me good part of my childhood and when we broke free from her I was in high school.  I never thought I would see the disorder again.  Then one day my mom started to change and I'm living the BPD life again.  I would say from around the end of my high school year the signs started to show.  Her behavior at this point is brutal to the point I'm fearing of having to cut ties with her.  The story is long and deeper.  But I'm hoping to find support and others who understand what I am going thru.  I am afraid of becoming my mother every day.

[blue-eyed bonnie]

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this struggle.  My childhood was completely dysfunctional as both of my parents were probably BPD and my mother's mother was as well.  I spent years trying to distance myself from the entire mess and figure out why I thought I was such a bad person.  Fortunately, meeting a great therapist has helped enormously and gaining a better understanding of BPD symptoms.  Now my BPD mom has gotten too old to take care of herself so she has moved in with my husband and me.  It has been such a struggle to keep her from turning my adult home into the one of my childhood.  Setting boundaries with her, and really sticking with them consistently has been most effective.  But god, it's hard.  It would be like being raped as a teen and then having the rapist move in with you 30 years later!  So hang in there, you are not alone.  I hope that provides you with a bit of solace!

[Lilacs]

You are not alone. My experience... .keep writing.
You will get help here.

[Fie]

Hello Swkgrl 

I know what you mean.
My mum is BPD.
After years of having had a wonderful relationship with my grandma, suddenly BPD also there reared its ugly head. It's heartbreaking.

Do you think your mum was exhibiting her BPD tendencies towards someone else instead of towards you, before you had noticed changes in her behaviors ?

I also understand that you fear becoming your mum. I have had the same. I did have some unhealthy tendencies in the past, also. I have been working very hard though and today I can say that I am sure I will never be like her.