Introduction

[CraftyGirl22]

Hi ... .I'm so thankful to have found this community. I've been married for 22 years and am just now (the last couple of months) trying to research and figure out what is going on in my marriage. For most of those 22 years things have been "off" but I've ignored and tried to fix it on my own which has not worked and probably has only made things worse for us. I'm hoping to find understanding, emotional support, and information on how I can change to be a better person and better able to cope with the behaviours happening in our marriage.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tattered Heart]

Welcome ,

You'll find lots of support and help here. How did it feel to you to finally have a name for what you've been experiencing?

[CraftyGirl22]

Thank you for the welcome! I feel a bit better having a name and some kind of reason for what is happening but at the same time overwhelmed and sad. My husband has not been diagnosed with BPD but many of his behaviours fit the descriptions I've read about. I've also come to the conclusion that many of my ways of coping have caused things to get worse. I feel horrible about this and wish I had really dug deeper into what was happening 4 years ago when I started going to therapy. I feel that there is a glimmer of hope that if I can change to stand up for myself and heal myself that I can better deal with what is happening. I haven't given up yet but I do know the reality is I may have to leave at some point.