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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: Taking care of myself for once...  (Read 468 times)
Herodias
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1787


« on: July 20, 2017, 05:07:09 PM »

Hi, I have had a rough few weeks. I am filled with quilt over my parents trying to get me to take care of them, while they should have made plans to take care of themselves. My Sister said I need to save myself. I am trying to not let guilt overcome me. I am letting go of bad friendships and not letting people drain me emotionally. I am trying to stop being so draining on others myself. I had let go of a client that has been driving me crazy for awhile now and I have two more to get rid of. It feels good and bad at the same time, but my mental health and physical health is most important to me now. I have been taking care of myself in ways I haven't before because I was always taking care of everyone else. I have been falling apart mentally and physically.  For the first time in my life I am alone in my state as my whole family has moved away. My work is in the service industry, I have been doing it 30 years and no longer feel that I need to deal with peoples issues. They can tell me I am unprofessional because I don't agree when they are wrong, but I don't care anymore. I have the backing of my co-workers and people in town, because everyone that knows these people and know they are difficult. So, I do not feel bad. One of my co-workers fired one of his clients today. So that's two bad eggs out of our sight in one week. It changes the whole morale of the workplace when people do not have to deal with difficult people. I suppose we are all getting older and just can't deal with it anymore. I am known to have all of the "crazy" clients anyway- I am trying to change that.  I am just glad I am finally getting to the place of wanting calmness and working on what I can do to get there. It is a work in progress... .
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roberto516
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 782


« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2017, 06:58:28 PM »

Hey herodias,

Despite it being a rough few weeks for you I see someone confronting their fears, using introspection to process their own faulty behaviors and self-talk, and someone setting boundaries with the goal of self preservation.

I see a lot of growth and wisdom in this post. Be proud of that. Wish I could offer more right now bit this was my first reaction so I wanted to go with it.
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“Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth.”
Harley Quinn
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2839


I am exactly where I need to be, right now.


« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2017, 04:39:09 PM »

Herodias I applaud you!  I need to work on jettisoning some negatives from my life too and I greatly admire your decision to remove people who drag you down.  Feel inspired by your post.  You are taking a tough time and owning it by doing what it takes to help yourself through getting rid of these unnecessary stressors.  I hope you quickly see results in your overall sense of well being from taking this approach.  Well played and keep putting yourself first.  I know it is difficult when it's out of character, but hopefully will become a positive habit.  First rule in any crisis situation - take care of yourself before others.

Love and light x 
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We are stars wrapped in skin.  The light you are looking for has always been within.
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