Ended relationship

[Zeltar]

I ended my two year long distance relationship in April, after "catching" my partner in a major lie. That lie was then covered up with more lies.
I explained at the time that I could not be in a long distance, or any relationship with someone I could not trust.
The lying was minimized as a simple fib.
Since April I have been getting weekly text telling me what a great love we have between us ( not that we should get back together, which I have made clear would not happen) I also said I did not want a friendship for the same trust issue reason.
I also receive packages in the mail, with things from places we have been etc. stating how much love, and memories etc.
I politely answer some of these with a thank you. Some I do not respond to at   all.
What is your recommendation regarding contact in situations like this please.

[Turkish]

A thank you is certainly polite, and kind.  Do you think it might be inviting him to continue,  however, even if that isn't your intent?

You could go back to ignoring or not responding,  but who knows how long the care packages will continue. 

Or you could also end it on your terms kindly,  but firmly,  with a SET message (see here),  Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm ((see here)

This discussion may also help: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=284223.0

[Zeltar]

Thank you.
Is this expected behavior after a break up with someone with BPD? I just begin relaxing into a life without them when along comes a text or package. I guess I'm asking if I am being emotionally messed with.

[Turkish]

"Messed with" is how you see it,  and how most members here would see it.  Hard to say if that's his motivation,  or the motivations of most pwBPD. Messing with you implies a desire to inflict pain. Given the psychology of a pwBPD, he is likely unaware of your pain,  not being emotionally capable of putting himself on your shoes,  instead consumed by his uncontrollable emotions,  focused inward.

Was it messing with me when my ex asked to move back in last month? I don't think so.  Despite her apologies over the past two years,  asking me to forgive her bad behaviors, she still wasn't capable of seeing things from my point-of-view.  She was seeking to ease her pain: the pain of not seeing our kids half of the time,  and the pain of struggling financially (the latter she would never admit due to her pride, but it's true). Two years ago, I would have seen this as messing with me.  Now I see her more clearly for who she is apart from me,  and more importantly, who I am apart from her. 

Part of detaching,  I think,  is getting clarity on who we are apart from our partners. 

[Zeltar]

Thank you. Yes, I suppose I am dealing with my own sense of guilt for ending this relationship... .and each contact triggers that in me again, and I then begin doubting myself and that decision. They would know that about me.
Nevertheless I know it is the right decision for me. My intuition affirms.
There is a "game quality" that I have witnessed first hand to much of their actions, which had me wondering about the " messing with my head" piece. I think there is a part of that in these contacts. I truly wish it were otherwise, but my eyes are open now.
All in all it is very hard emotionally, and likely will be for a very long time.
I have no desire to be unkind, or blame them... .I just don't trust them.
I hope your situation worked out better.
Thank you again.