Regretting taking families and friend advice four months ago

[Idsrvt2]

I'm in a tailspin lately . I regret when my x texted he was getting a RO and then after I calmly replied he wanted to then go in peace. He called me and texted atleast 6-7 times ... they told me not to take his calls. So I didn't.  The next day I sent what I thought was a nice closing text in reply to him asking what he needed to do .  In it I told that he needed to seek help so he could get his life back and that I wasn't sure why I was dumped but his beahviour about the RO shows he really needs help. I told him I have to take care of myself and my life and signed it with kisses.   
I'm haunted even in court when he wanted it dropped ... again my mom and her current controlling partner advised against it.   
Looking back I can see just how worn down my boundaries were and how stressed I was ... I was making decisions based on others.
My gut wanted to make peace and I should have took those calls.
The last four months under the RO have triggered PTSD , stress etc... .and nothing changed other than he now delivers mail like a zombie ... like the song goes someone that I used to know,

On top of this I'm sorting out boundaries with my family and a situation that has crossed my boundaries for years... .I need to correct all this somehow ...
Last night was a bad night and I barely slept, both my parents attacked and blamed me .i was even called mentally ill.  They live in a house I own and lay for ... so they live for free off of me and I'm in disability ... this had been going on for too many years.  I'm currently looking for a housemate for them as I can't afford it and sn appt was all set up and my father says he can't show the space as he has to tend to an issue at my brothers house. I never mattered to my parents and still don't.  So because I stood up to my father he has now cut off any help he was guveing me i.e. Taking out my trash... .these are the people I listened to for advice and it cost me peace

Today the x walks the streets and I just wish we had gone in peace ... .I would never get a RO out on someone that sent texts to me after I broke up with them ... texts that were not threatening ...    
I was doing better until the RO, the temp RO ended there wasn't even evidence for a perm RO and I dropped everything first before the court date .

[Emotions]

I'm sorry that your dealing with this, I'm going through something similar, and the only thing that gives my mind peace is to not focus on the thoughts or memories when they come up... .I also listened to others when I was low energy... .good luck and keep posting

[Idsrvt2]

Thanks, it's use they weren't my own decisions and where are the family and my moms current partner... nowhere to be found.   
My mom said partner now tells her she has too much drama meaning this situation with my x
I could and should have went in peace ... and then again my x shouldn't have gotten the RO to begin with.
I've never been threatened with one, so didn't know how to react... he also was so wrapped up in his hurt of texts I sent that he perceived as mean that he didn't care or couldn't see I was in physical pain. 

Going fwd I'm going to make my own decisions and if they are wrong so be it.
I would never get back with my x as he is not capable of a relationship. 
I'm just trying to procsss this all... as I thought my toughest days where during the enforced NC... little did I know how I would feel right now.

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I'm sorry that your dealing with this, I'm going through something similar, and the only thing that gives my mind peace is to not focus on the thoughts or memories when they come up... .I also listened to others when I was low energy... .good luck and keep posting

[Emotions]

Yes we must walk our own paths, and be true to ourselves... .be kind, patient, and appreciative with others "care and advice" as they are trying to help... .but to know thyself is even cooler, trust and have faith that you will do better in the long run listening to your own inner voice (I call it God) and sometimes it is the mistakes that we make that help us learn as well, much better than if we just listen and follow... .That being said I do listen to others and think about their perspective too, as it is a blessing to feel others care... .again just be kind and patient and it should all work out at some point.