Hi, sgarner and
We all feel desperate and judged and hopeless when our loved one seems to be sad all the time. We want the world for them, and they seem to struggle finding the energy to want to live. We ask ourselves: Are we not enough to make them happy? And that feels awful, and we search for ways to change that. It's true that we even begin to question our sanity.
With BPD we have to learn a new logic, things that work with the majority of people don't work. Has she been diagnosed? Tell us more about yourself and your spouse, we surely are going through similar things. Myself, there isn't one day that I don't see my SO crying, and there isn't a month where she doesn't talk about wanting to die.
With BPD we have to learn a lot to start to get empathy for what they are going through. It is not enough to have common sense, to love them, or to want to relate, we need guidance to relate our experiences to theirs.
You are not alone, and not crazy. There is hope.
