What is a normal response to friend leaving?

[Insom]

Hi, everyone.  As part of my process of "learning from wounds" I'm looking at my own attachment style and trying to understand what is normal and what is not.  If anyone has feedback on the following scenario, I'd love to hear it.

I live in a small, dynamic city.  It's the kind of place where there's a lot of population flux, people moving in and out all the time.  One thing I've noticed is that when a friend makes the announcement that he or she is moving away to a different place the polite thing to do among my group of friends is to congratulate that person on their new venture and wish them well.  I always feel a little sad when I find out a friend is leaving so the congratulations seem odd to me.  Like, "hey, isn't anyone sad this friend is moving away?  Or are we all supposed to be happy?"  I'm not saying no one ever expresses sadness, more like it's an afterthought or something people won't cop to in a genuine way.

Here's an example of what I mean:  Person makes announcement that he/she is leaving.  "Hey, congratulations on your new venture!  That sounds really exciting.  We'll miss you around here but it sounds like you're on to something great so we wish you all the best."  This is a style of response that leaves me confused and distressed.  Like, "Aren't you going to miss this person?  I know I will!"

Anyway, can anyone shed light on what a normal emotional response is to a long-time friend leaving?

[once removed]

Anyway, can anyone shed light on what a normal emotional response is to a long-time friend leaving?

i think what you are describing is a normal emotional response. it is normal to miss a loved one who is moving away. its normal to maybe even feel some anger about that.

that is, of course, separate from how one outwardly responds.

"Hey, congratulations on your new venture!  That sounds really exciting.  We'll miss you around here but it sounds like you're on to something great so we wish you all the best."

this is a normal/standard outward response. its whats appropriate in a public/professional/business like setting. congratulations, well wishes, take care, youll be missed. one can personalize it of course, maybe throw in a favorite memory or two, or "im really going to miss you, friend", but "this really hurts and upsets me" wouldnt be appropriate in that kind of setting.

going beyond that entirely depends on the personal dynamic between you and the person moving.

[Insom]

this is a normal/standard outward response. its whats appropriate in a public/professional/business like setting.

Thanks for this observation.  The thing that's confused me, I think, is seeing this public/professional response exhibited among long-time friends where you'd think a more casual, genuine vibe (more along the lines of "I'm really going to miss you, friend"  would rule?  But then it occurred to me some people within the group may have attachment issues that make the more formal, professional response seem like the way to go.  And those particular responses make me uneasy.

(Now that I know attachment is a thing, I am seeing attachment stuff everywhere.)