Hi Manny
I'm sorry you had this hurtful situation several times. Often, the best approach is letting them know we are there for them, saying we are sorry if, as you said, you did things you wish you haven't done, but then letting them take the time they need. Less is more here.
They can get very hurt with normal harmless comments, if you lost control yourself, it is a huge thing, as they feel everything much more intense than us. As I am sure you care a lot about her, and you want things to get better, you are the one that has to commit to do things in a different way. You already know losing your temper and being provocative doesn't do any good to any of you. So, even if it is your first instinct, and it is understandable, you have to work to minimize that.
You'll hear this a lot: Before making things better, we have to stop making them worse. That alone makes a huge difference.
