Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
September 28, 2024, 05:08:55 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Experts share their discoveries
[video]
99
Could it be BPD
BPDFamily.com Production
Listening to shame
Brené Brown, PhD
What is BPD?
Blasé Aguirre, MD
What BPD recovery looks like
Documentary
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
> Topic:
Marriage and BPD Kids
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Marriage and BPD Kids (Read 503 times)
need a break
AKA Robin123, foreversad
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 70
Marriage and BPD Kids
«
on:
August 07, 2017, 09:12:37 AM »
Hi,
I read somewhere that only 15 % of marriages last when the death of their child occurs.
Its a very long story but our daughter as we knew her has left and will probably (according to her team)
never come back in the way we are used to.
My marriage is and has been falling apart for over 10 years.
Can this be considered a death? Feels so much like that and our therapist agrees.
Anyone else out there struggling with their significant other due to BPD children? Adult or otherwise?
Logged
Our objective
is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to
learn the skills
to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Huat
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Estranged
Posts: 595
Re: Marriage and BPD Kids
«
Reply #1 on:
August 07, 2017, 11:19:52 AM »
Hello need a break. I can hear your sadness. I am so sorry about whatever has happened with your daughter. I am so sorry the relationship with your husband is strained. You need a hug... .and here is one from me (--).
I, too, have experienced great sadness over the years because of my daughter's BPD tendencies and actions. Thankfully my husband and I will soon celebrate our 55th wedding anniversary.
Even though we have always loved each other, it has been a struggle at times to stay united when the problems with our daughter arose. I was her target... .not her father; consequently he has never experienced my pain... .never understood my tears. There have been many times when I have felt so alone... .just wanted to scream.
You ask, "Can this be considered a death?" My answer to that is... .yes! It is the heartbreaking realization that the life you envisioned and have wanted has not come about... .and probably never will. It is the death of a dream but harder to handle because there is not the closure one can get if there is a funeral.
With that said, as with the death of a loved one, there is a grieving period. The harshness of the grieving can/will eventually soften if you let it... .and then you start giving yourself the gift of getting-on-with-life. What a gift that can turn out to be!
You probably have worked hard to make changes over the years but the only real change you have the power to make is the change to yourself. You do not deserve to be "need a break." You deserve to be happy and content with whatever life you have. While that will always be a work-in-progress, it can be a rewarding work-in-progress... .but it is work.
I speak from experience when I encourage you to accept what is... .IS... .and work with that reality. You do not abandon all your obligations but you refocus. Look for little things that will put a smile on your face... .a movie... .a walk... .a manicure... .whatever! It is a matter of forcing yourself to put one foot in front of the other until eventually those smiles just come on their own and you are better able to deal with what life throws at you.
When you read what others post on this forum, you will see that you are not alone. While our stories differ, all of us are parents who were wanting life to be different from what it is today. I hope that you feel comfort in knowing that you are being heard... .and you can feel better.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
> Topic:
Marriage and BPD Kids
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...