So my upwBPD is off to get a referral for a Mental Health Assessment..

[nomotime]

After a big blowout this morning, I dug in and in every way possible insisted she needs help.

After the usual rounds of 'If I have a problem, then you have a problem' oddly things calmed down.  She went for a smoke, came back and asked what she needed to do.  She is going right now to the GP walk-in clinic for a referral.

This should be good right?  But I am so paranoid after threats of disappearing back to her country with our child that the other shoe is going to drop.  She's already admitted telling all her friends what an awful controlling person I am.  She is extremely high functioning.  In front of others she switches like a light switch into 'butter wouldn't melt' mode.  I mean that side of her is a large, genuine part of who she is but nobody ever gets to see even a hint of what she subjects her closest to.  The only people I've discussed it with myself are my parents, very briefly, one old friend who got in touch whom my pwBPD found the messages between us and I still haven't heard the last of it (for the sake of peace I had to break contact with this friend) and this forum.  

I want her to seek help, for our child but my fears are she's appeasing now, and she's going to get an assessment and not describe any of her symptoms because she does not accept them, possibly even try and point fingers at me.  She's had what I believe to be genuine moments of enlightenment in the past and I do think she has self-awareness because in today's discussion about therapy and in the past she has brought up concerns about me using any diagnosis in court.  This is  a valid concern, and the struggle is always to reassure her that i care for her, our son needs his mother and I would like her to seek help to ensure we DON'T end up in court.

So, coming back to today's events, she's going for a referral.  Is this good?  Can I trust her motives? Is there anyway that this could backfire on me and even if so, its still worth encouraging, right?

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[Tattered Heart]

How did the appointment go?

[nomotime]

Terrible.  Not her fault.  The GP was terrible.  English is my wife's second language which doesn't help a great deal but GP ended up just giving her the number for MIND (a mental health charity). 

She was persistent and manage to track down another mental health organisation which are sending through paperwork to fill in for a referral.  We can expect to wait two weeks for the paperwork.  Mental Health support in the UK is appalling.   

In the meantime, she had a huge episode this morning.

Upshot is, especially as she pursued it so persistently I trust her motivations yesterday but I suspect she doesn't feel the same way today.