Behaviours ramping up after admission of problem

[nomotime]

So she made steps to get a mental health assessment.  Its a particularly long process here unfortunately.  This was the result of a series of increasingly serious dysregulations.  But since this admission, episodes have got even worse.

As the episodes get worse, the aftermath seems to be increasing admissions of awareness a problem on her end. Some very self-aware statements like, "Sometimes I know I'm out of control, other times I think it is your fault" followed by something about how she's not sure the last part is real though.  Apparently she actually told the Docotr she is acting like a child sometimes.  She's also admitted she's getting worse and its come couple with some feelings of psychosis which remind her of when she was convinced she had AIDs.

On the flip side, I feel like acknowledging a problem is giving her an excuse to act out even more. The worst parts are, its always in front of our son and I work from home and am getting nothing done.  Money is her biggest trigger and I can't earn any money. She's acknowledged this too.  "You can't get any work done because of my behaviour" after a very aggressive episode about money. Before it was a level I could just about handle and get away with. Now I am getting nothing done. Its absurd, I have some well paying contracts waiting to be finished and I can't complete them. I will lose them and my reputation!

She's now asked me to take our Son away to my Parent's for a couple of days, which is something I said I would have to do so I could work when she left the house the other day during my work day. She exploded over this suggestion at the time and is now telling me I should do it (in a regulated moment, not aggressively).

I don't know how to handle any of this.   If she goes for treatment, that's great if her heart is in it but I don't know what to do about the increasing severity of her behaviours.  We will be homeless if it carries on like this and our Son will have severe problems.  Also, is a timeout ie. me taking our Son for a couple of days really going to help?  

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tattered Heart]

Hi nomotime,

I'm sorry to hear about the pressure you are under in regards to housing right now. I can imagine how scary and out of control things must feel.

I've heard stories from other about things getting worse temporarily once their pwBPD begins to acknowledge what is going on with them. I'm not sure why this happens, but it sounds like maybe she sees that what she that her peception is wrong, she doesn't want to respond inappropriately, but then the dysregulation comes anyways. So then she feels intense shame, which could then lead to more dysregulation. It's a vicious cycle. Since she is so new to treatment, she notices the misperception but doesn't know what to do with it.

I'm curious as to why you are unable to earn money due to her behavior? Do you work from home? Would it be possible to take your son and go work at another location, such as a park, library, starbucks, or friend/relatives house then return home after everything is done?

[nomotime]

Hi,

Thanks very much for your reply.  Yes, I was thinking something along those lines might be the case.  I also wondered if acceptance of an issue was almost an excuse to act a certain way.

Yes, i work from home.  Unfortunately our son is only 9 months and I need my computer (not a laptop) so I'm tied to the house at the moment.

Things got so bad, I had to take our Son to my parent's.  My wife has come with us and predictably she's not acting out here.  Just hoping I can catch up on things in the few days we have and crossing fingers for return to some kind of dealable with base level when we go back.