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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: Why did my x have to be so u der standing of my health issues  (Read 391 times)
Idsrvt2
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 281


« on: September 03, 2017, 05:21:56 PM »

I mean for a person that per him did not attach to anyone ... .how could he understand it so well and be so gentle with me?

I'm having a rough weekend as my health symptoms have suddenly worsened Mostly due to a new guy I was seeing and a visit to the beach... .he did not treat me with any care at all... .in fact no guy to date has treated me as good as my x did at times.
But then there were the times I wasn't great at communicating my needs and he saw my bluntness as an attack... .he's like this with everyone... .it's his feeling that everyone is out to get him.

He thought I deserved better he thought I only stayed with him because I was afraid I wouldn't find anyonelse ... .no, I knew what was out there and was willing to work with him... .but the day of the blow up breakup and my reactions and what he said stung and hurt ... .

I get angry that he has full awareness of what he has and still did this to me ... .he still delivers my mail with just no care... .
I hope my health improves and maybe this won't hurt as much, but it's like he used my health to keep me hooked.   How could someone so terrible ... be so gentle
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Sunfl0wer
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: He moved out mid March
Posts: 2583



« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2017, 05:39:39 PM »

Not so sure I completely understand this post, but gonna give it a go.

Gotta say, my ex did a fantastic job being able to accomodate many of my health issues.  He could cook dairy free, gluten free, and whatever else I was not permitted to eat at the time, and really was a big asset, ... .him being a phenomenal cook.

It has been a long while tho since we broke up. 
Many things may help or exacerbate my health issues, however, way I see it is... .we are all individually responsible for our own health.

So if someone is exposing me to suff that is harmful to my health, be it their words that stress me out, or putting flour (known allergens to me) in my food... .  still my job to care for me and control what I can.

So not really sure what is going on for you, but hoping you can find your way to some coping to ease what is happening.
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How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.~Anais Nin
Idsrvt2
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 281


« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2017, 09:34:24 PM »


Thank you for your reply.
I think I'm mad because I got involved with a new guy too soon after my x I knew he was bad news but when he asked me to the beach I went... .it sux been since that day and him using my body in a very selfish manner suddenly that I have had increased symptoms.

I can't post my exact health issues due to privacy in case my x would see this ... .
But he was very good at understanding my physical limitations... .he would even carry me up and down stairs , although it wasn't needed ... he would make sure when we were out the food I ate was ok... .when we were intimate he knew of issues I had etc... .allergy to latex etc .  He couldn't believe other guys didn't care l.  it was so easy to be open with him.
So I guess in away I am sad tonite, missing the good qualities of my x because one of his personas was good... .and really mad at myself for going with that new guy and making my health now worse from driving too much, staying in a wet bath g suit etc.
The new guy was such a low class act he took a shower at a hotel never offered me one, I never stated there before and had no towel ... he didn't pay for a room but New the hotel layout so basically snuck himself a shower k I jut thought he was changing like I was in the bathroom.

My x thought I could find someone better ... I just don't think I will find someone who was so accommodating of my health issues.   
Not so sure I completely understand this post, but gonna give it a go.

Gotta say, my ex did a fantastic job being able to accomodate many of my health issues.  He could cook dairy free, gluten free, and whatever else I was not permitted to eat at the time, and really was a big asset, ... .him being a phenomenal cook.

It has been a long while tho since we broke up. 
Many things may help or exacerbate my health issues, however, way I see it is... .we are all individually responsible for our own health.

So if someone is exposing me to suff that is harmful to my health, be it their words that stress me out, or putting flour (known allergens to me) in my food... .  still my job to care for me and control what I can.

So not really sure what is going on for you, but hoping you can find your way to some coping to ease what is happening.
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GlennT
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 930



« Reply #3 on: September 03, 2017, 09:57:15 PM »

Hm. I never do this, but I'm going to play a hunch on a long-shot. You once said that he... was a he-she in private. Do you think he is now avoiding you because he has  changed his sexual orientation after this traumatic break-up, and he is now gay, but doesn't want you to know?
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Always remember what they do:Idealize. Devalue. Discard.
Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.~ Churchill
Idsrvt2
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 281


« Reply #4 on: September 03, 2017, 11:46:22 PM »

That's an interesting theory , although I still think he feels nothing and that's why he avoids me and says nothing.  Plus the restraining orders ... .I mean he got one yet still delivered
I checked his online profile when I heard he has not been doing well and it still said he was rejoining life as a female.   
I suspected he may have been gay to an extent... as he would say he told his work he was gay and he made a comment he would never cheat on me with a guy as that would ruin me... .I was suspicious he had someone online ... who knows if he does.
I also found out when he first joined the job he works at now he told them he was transgender and showed them pics ... .I think that was around the time he gave up on life as he wasn't on my route at that time just yet,  it he said he gave up and became a shut in. 
Someone he works with said he did not bad mouth me ... .again I think if that's really true it's because he probably told everyone I was just a crazy customer not that we were even involved.  He tells them he's gay and too old now to be the female.
He also hit on this person years ago.  This person now avoids my x at all costs as he keeps him talking after work a lot. They also know all I know like everything .  I guess I was the last to know a lot of things for some reason he could be open with me for four years about a lot but not everything ... .

The whole thing sux and really could have been avoided ... and that haunts me at times how it went from go in peace to a cop at my door.
He once said to me once he's done with someone he's done so I think that's what this is too... .still a cordial interaction would be much easier to deal with
It's one of those things no one involved even understands

I keep picturing one day in the near future maybe we make some peace ... .but I know it may never happen. 
This is a pretty unique one

Hm. I never do this, but I'm going to play a hunch on a long-shot. You once said that he... was a he-she in private. Do you think he is now avoiding you because he has  changed his sexual orientation after this traumatic break-up, and he is now gay, but doesn't want you to know?
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