She wishes to end her life

[Ashton]

Hello, and thank you for reading. I have been married for four years to a woman whom I respect and admire. We have much in common and married each other with high hopes. Now, I feel like everything I say and do angers her. Her mood swings have become burdensome. She sleeps sporadically, often sits and stares blankly at the wall; she frequently can't recall conversations or events that have happened hours or moments earlier; she says that she feels alone, is a failure (though by most standards she has been quite successful), says she often feels excluded, and has that she wishes to end her life. I don't know what to do.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi Ashton,

It is important to take these wishes seriously. Have you tried having her call the national suicide hotline? I assume you are in the US, but if not they have them all over. They can be helpful for her if there is an immediate issue, but they can also just talk over any distress she is feeling in general. It is worrisome that she is having these issues with memory and feeling so low. Could she be not only BPD but have depression or something?  I hope you can find some assistance for her, this sounds serious. But when you have time beyond the crisis, also try to read up on the lessons here because they can help you improve communication and better understand her issues and that is always a good thing.

Take care!

[Meili]

I want to join pearlsw in welcoming you to the family.  I'm sorry for what you're going through but glad you have found a community where many of us have been through similar experiences, and we can learn from each other.

Was there something that happened recently that brought you here?

There is a lot of information here - articles, workshops, etc. - and we'll help you find what you need. Just let us know how we can best support you.

Keep writing. Tell us your story - it helps you to get it out and it helps others when they see that they are not the only ones suffering.

[AskingWhy]

Ashton, I am so sorry your wife is going through this.

Suicidal ideation (thoughts of suicide) are common in many personality disorders, and common in BPD or bipolar.

Please take her comments seriously and get her help.  You can call the mental health services in your area, or even call emergency/911 if you think she might harm herself.

If you are not in counseling yourself, you might consider this for your own piece of mind.  

[Meili]

How are things going? Any update? Is your wife still talking about suicide?

We have a lesson on Suicide ideation in others that should be helpful.