Confused

[Beatrice1212]

I have a wife with BiPolar 1 and I am told with BPD.

I don't know whether to run, leave or cry.

I don't know if it ever gets better.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Beatrice1212]

There are days no matter what I say, do or how I look will never be right.

A simple look can start a three hour argument where it is attempted to wear me down and make me feel like garbage.

I am threaten with if you don't do this I will commit suicide.

I am going to tell my counselor on you.

I will make up lies and ruin your career.

I will tell your family you are a bad person.

Much of our life is lived in isolation and we pretend when we go on the outside world.

Please tell me I am not the only one who lives like this ?

[flourdust]

Hi and welcome! It sounds like things are pretty tough right now. What you're describing is familiar to a lot of us. Can I ask how long you've been married? Are you trying to fix this marriage or get out of it?

[Beatrice1212]

Hi and welcome! It sounds like things are pretty tough right now. What you're describing is familiar to a lot of us. Can I ask how long you've been married? Are you trying to fix this marriage or get out of it?

We have been married 4 years and BPD did not show up for the first year at all and largely has become prominent this last year.

I would love to fix this marriage and live happily ever after but I am not sure how to do that.  My wife is in therapy but she is not honest with her therapist about drinking or other meds she is taking.

She believes she is fine as she is not the one who is getting yelled at or abused daily.

I don't know what to do and therapy for me has proven to be an exercise in frustration as what looks good on paper does not play out well at home at night. IF that makes sense.

[flourdust]

Sure. Not all therapists are equally skilled. Has yours been teaching you about validation, DBT skills, boundaries, anything like that? Were you given BPD resources like the book Stop Walking on Eggshells?