Mother

[Sissy S]

How could I not have known for 50+ years that my mother has BPD?

[Sprinkledinkles]

Simply said, you were in the fog-fear, obligation and guilt. How do you challenge what has always been normal? You grow up and all those "off" feelings lead you to look for answers and you end up here or another site and voila, every thing starts making sense. It can happen when you're young and still living with her or when you're 80 yrs old.

So now that you're here do you have any plans to make your life easier?

[Panda39]

Hi Sissy S,

Welcome to the BPD Family 

How could you not know? I would ask how you could know, you were a child, in a dysfunctional household that knew no other way, you're not a therapist.

I'm a full grown adult woman that has been on these boards for several years (my significant other has an undiagnosed BPD ex-wife).  I know what BPD is, NPD is, what dysfunctional behaviors look like but it took me a year and a half to figure out I had a Narcissistic new Boss (thankfully she was just fired). 

Don't beat yourself up for not knowing, sometimes we simply don't know what we don't know.

So now that you do know how can we support you?  What are some of the issues you are dealing with in terms of your mom?  The members here "get it" we have all had to deal with someone in our lives with BPD or BPD traits.  There are a lot of tools, ideas, support and experience here that we are all happy to share.

Panda39