Welcome
Hunichka!
Glad you found our site and that you made your first post.
It helps to know some of the things that you are challenged with. You will find that there is a lot of information on our site. Have you started with the list to the right hand side of our board? ----->> Anything you click on will open up into a larger explanation. Once you have time to read some of this information, please share where you think you are on the list. We are all in a different place, and each of us have walked a similar but unique journey as we heal. My mom was an uBPD, so I can understand much of what you are going through. Do you find the book helpful that you are reading?
Many members here have also stepped back from their BPD relationships and taken some time to work on themselves and allow healing from the wounds from growing up in such an environment. In the end it helps to strengthen ourselves and care for ourselves in ways we've never had. Take time to be kind to yourself as you read and discover. Join into the discussions here and share your thoughts because that is part of the healing process. You are not alone, and this is a great place that is safe to discover and learn. What would you say are some of your greatest challenges you face with her?
Wools