how to start getting help for myself and my son

[hopingmom]

      After struggling to understand my 18-year-old's behavior for a long time now, I am thinking that he may have BPD traits.  The title of the Eggshells book, suggested by Amazon based on other books I read, hit home,  started me reading on this topic and it seems to fit.  Today he did not go to school (which, according to him, is my fault ) so  right now we are both at home and he is throwing  my clothes around and making threats to try to get me to leave.  Of course he has consistently refused to seek help, but I am resistant to involving the police.  Can anyone suggest a first step?  Efforts to communicate effectively do not seem to work, and only make him angrier.  I am only able to type this because  the moment he is in his room blocking his anger out with music and substance abuse. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Lollypop]

Hi hoping mom

First of all I'm sending you a big hug and a welcome, I'm glad you found us. The book is really good and an excellent place to start as you begin to understand why your son behaves the way he does. This knowledge really is power and the more you learn then the better you are able to navigate through. Take a look at the right hand side of this page (start here) where you find loads of information, videos, tips and skills.

My DS is now 26 and I can remember how difficult those teenager years were. I'm sorry you're going through this. if somethings not working and, by the sounds of it, you're clearly in a challenging situation in your own home, then a change of approach is needed.

You've mentioned you've resisted calling the police and that your son has made threats to you. What's going on, is it just verbal or is he physical?

Big hug

LP