GF relapsed 6 months ago

[Colhouse]

Hi,

My wife and I met in Recovery.  We have been married for 3 years.  It had been intimated to me by her ex husband that I should research BPD. I read the book Walking on Eggshells and it was a revelation in that so many aha ! moments presented as I read through the chapters.

We have had a rough six month in that I observed her behaviours changing.  What used to be a explosion of irrational anger every couple of months became more and more often - every couple of days.

She came to me about three weeks ago to admit that she had relapsed and had in fact been drinking for the last 6 months.  -  and I thought I was tuned in to her - hyper alert re relapse behaviour.  She has been in rehab for three weeks, is coming out next Monday -  Truth is I am am fearful - its just so exhausting.

Good news is that she has agreed (for now !) to attend an outpatient secondary programme and see a psychologist once a week.  I think and hope that the counsellers in the rehab have identified the possibility of a condition of BPD via the traits that I see in our interactions being interrogated during her therapy.  

Its simple - to take from the book... .I just can't believe how she can be so loving one moment and then rip me to shreds the next.  How she can tell me I am so talented and then scream at me that I am contemptable and the cause of all her problems... .

I don't have the tools and no-one talks to me  - professionals cite patient confidentiality - What the heck

So I am lonely.  I am reaching out.  

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[Tattered Heart]

Hi Colhouse,

I"m sorry that you are going through such a hard time right now. It can be pretty lonely trying to navigate through a BPD relationship on your own. You've found a great place because although you don't have any tools to use, we do! YOu can find a lot of really great workshops on the right side of the page that will help you learn how to communicate better with your pwBPD.

What behavior from your gf makes you most nervous about her coming home?

To get you started on our workshops, here is a link to The Dos and Don'ts of a BPD Relationship

[Colhouse]

Thank you Tattered Heart

I have spent some time on the site and am very relieved to have found a place to come to with so much quality material to absorb

[Tattered Heart]

Is there anything we can help you work through right now?