How do I have my spouse seek therapy?

[Bilby]

I have been trying to have my spouse go see a psychiatrist for diagnosis.  She told me yesterday that she didn't want to go.  I, and our two children, really need her to go and then begin some type of therapy (DBT or other).  I have read widely on BPD and watched lots of blog sites.  I have strongly suspected for about a year that all the irrational, highly emotional swings and anger outbursts are stemming from this.  I've been trying to determine how to talk with her about it and how to get her to have a professional diagnosis. 

The other area I (and my children) need help on is setting boundaries.  We try and do whatever we can to please her (rather pointless as something will be found to be less than perfect) and reduce the outbursts and negative derisive comments.  I think she has trained us and I need to reverse this into a more healthy boundary setting situation.  We are verbally abused nearly every day over some small item.

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