Hi virtualfriday,
Welcome to the BPD Family
Has your wife been formally diagnosed with BPD? Have you done any reading on BPD? What issues are you struggling most with? Can you give us an example? How old are your kids? What does the relationship with your wife and kids look like? It sounds like you are doing marriage counseling, is anyone getting individual therapy?
That's the end of my questions

Just trying to learn more about where you are and what your situation currently looks like.
I'm glad you've found us there is a lot of support, knowledge, and tools on this site, we all "get it"
Take Care,
Panda39