The reason I'm struggling to make sense of everything is because I can't believe that someone could lie in the way she did over everything. I especially can't believe that she could have been as close to his wife as she was for a long time lying to her while sleeping with her husband. I feel as though I actually never knew her.
When honesty and openness is a core value of ours, it can be extremely difficult to understand, accept and make sense of how another person can be untruthful. This seems so alien to us and I can totally relate to your feelings on this. At the same time, eventually we must accept that there are differences between people that we sometimes will never truly understand. Some behaviour is simply learned.
As I learned and realised so many things following my breakup it also felt to me like I never really knew my ex. This is hard, as we've invested ourselves in something that then seems to have been built on mistaken beliefs. When this is raw and new, it can be very confusing. It diminishes the worth we'd placed on the r/s and can make us feel like we've been taken for a ride. Over time though, this feeling fades and we can instead draw upon the experience for all the lessons it holds for us. What would you say you've learned about yourself during your healing so far?
Love and light x
