Do you ever feel like the Loony Tunes cartoon - Sam and Ralph?

[polaris9]

At times my relationship feels like that old Loony Tunes cartoon of Sam Sheepdog and Ralph Wolf where you have nice chit-chat from time to time and then you are under all out attack from the pwBPD.  And then a little while later you pwBPD is back to treating you like a normal human being and saying - Would you like to go out for a nice dinner?

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[nuthereggsheller]

Oh. Oh. Oh.  MY yes!  Though I have to admit it lightens my heart a little to picture your cartoon analogy.  Humor helps in the moment, doesn't it.  Yes, I deal with that too.  Usually it's about a two week cycle here, but it has been (surprisingly) over a month since the last outburst.  I'm trying to relax and appreciate the calm, but it's hard because I know the next attack out of left field will be coming.  I have no solid explanation for why the longer quiet period, except that when the last outburst occurred I lost the last small shred of heart I still had left  and decided (to myself, not to BPD hubby) that I'm done.  It's possible that even though I'm still being pleasant and doing my normal wifey tasks in a peaceful spirit, that he senses something is different and so he is on good behavior.  The sad thing is, like many BPDs apparently, when he's sweet, he's the kindest, most loving, demonstrative person.  When he's in a BPD rage... .well... .you probably know what that looks like.  So, nope, you're not crazy.  The situation is Looney Tunes, not you.

[BowlOfPetunias]

I have said before that I feel like Bugs Bunny in Yeaster Eggs--Every time he tries to do what the kid says he wants (Gimme an Easter Egg!), the kid just smashes the egg and beats him up.  "Why didn't you clean the bathroom?"  "OK, I will clean it now."  "No, we have to argue about this more!"  "But we're arguing over cleaning the bathroom, so please let me clean the bathroom."  "No, we have to talk about why you didn't clean the bathroom!"

It occurred to me in therapy last night that my wife and I also have a Popeye/Swee Pea dynamic going on.  You know, Swee Pea climbs the construction site and is oblivious to the danger, while Popeye repeatedly gets hurt trying to save him.  My wife can't see the problems  her actions will bring, even when it has happened before.  This time will be different.  Or perhaps she can forget about any prior experience.  Then I have to come in an rescue her.  (For the younger folks, think Buttons & Mindy.)

[lostandconfused6]

Sounds like my life in a nutshell a recent conversation went as such

Us: talking about random things for like 20 min
Him (all of a sudden) I have to go I need to study for this test on my drive
Me oh you can study math while driving?
Him Yes it's audio over my car
Me weird (which I say a lot)
then the rage ensues
Him just because you cant do it doesn't mean it can't happen now let me off the phone or you won't hear from me for the rest of the day and i'll never come to your house again (we don't live together and get minimal time together
Me why do you feel the need to be so mean and threaten me?
him because it's all you understand

that last statement is a lie he randomly lashes out on me which triggers me to hurt and sadness and frustration and pushes me to ask questions... .and his answer always is i'm not answering any of your stupid questions now let me go... .he does it over text too we will be in the middle of a normal random convo then all of a sudden he tells me I'm annoying and he needs to study or something like that

It's like how in the world do you go from calm and normal to being a complete and total butthead and of course because of a past situation it makes me think other things are going on