I think I am finally over her

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I know this maybe seems like it's come on quickly, but I think I have!  There may be sometimes when I miss her, but I don't have that crazy ache anymore.  I have accepted that we were not meant to be, and that she stopped loving me.  I know she's treated every girl that she has been with the exact same way as me and she's doing it again! I always thought I'd be the only one she was did that too, but I'm not. 

I don't feel about love the same way that I used to.  I am fine being alone for the rest of my life.  It's much easier anyway.  From here I learned that most people are cheaters and liars.  Or maybe it's just lesbians?  Idk.  Seems that way to me. 

From now on I'm working on myself.  I've been going to the gym getting the arms I've always wanted.   I'm going to go after things that are more tangible and if love happens to find me.  Well... .we'll see what happens. 

I may not be on this board much anymore.  I want to thank everyone for the support on here.  I hope everyone comes to a good place with their lost loves. 

Cheers.

[Shedd]

I know this maybe seems like it's come on quickly, but I think I have!  There may be sometimes when I miss her, but I don't have that crazy ache anymore.  I have accepted that we were not meant to be, and that she stopped loving me.  I know she's treated every girl that she has been with the exact same way as me and she's doing it again! I always thought I'd be the only one she was did that too, but I'm not. 

I don't feel about love the same way that I used to.  I am fine being alone for the rest of my life.  It's much easier anyway.  From here I learned that most people are cheaters and liars.  Or maybe it's just lesbians?  Idk.  Seems that way to me. 

From now on I'm working on myself.  I've been going to the gym getting the arms I've always wanted.   I'm going to go after things that are more tangible and if love happens to find me.  Well... .we'll see what happens. 

I may not be on this board much anymore.  I want to thank everyone for the support on here.  I hope everyone comes to a good place with their lost loves. 

Cheers.

[Hisaccount]

I always thought I'd be the only one she was did that too, but I'm not. 

That right there is what we all need to hold onto and remember.

Very Happy for you and wish you the best of luck in your new endeavors.

[Skip]

I am fine being alone for the rest of my life.  It's much easier anyway.  From here I learned that most people are cheaters and liars.  Or maybe it's just lesbians?  Idk.  Seems that way to me. 

A little cynical for 30? That is the stuff for 70 year old's. It was your first relationship and those are hard on use when they break down.

I might suggest that healed is not when we are past the extreme pain and bitter about the experience, but rather when we discover the life lesson in this and learn to be better lovers, partners, friends.

You may not want to call it a day, yet.   

[Shedd]

A little cynical for 30?

You may not want to call it a day, yet.   

I have lost all my faith in people and love, not just because of my ex (mostly her), but from seeing countless relationships fail over and over.  I have become a cynical woman.   I used to be the most optimistic person ever.  Not anymore. 

[apocalypsenow]

I have lost all my faith in people and love, not just because of my ex (mostly her), but from seeing countless relationships fail over and over.  I have become a cynical woman.   I used to be the most optimistic person ever.  Not anymore. 

Dear Shedd,

I'm so glad you feel you are over her.  It's so true that she's just going to treat the next one badly and has treated the one before badly too. 

I can totally relate to being cynical and being fine with being single too.  I'm not one to argue with anyone thinking that the world is full of asss, because I think it is, and you really have to hunt for the rare gems who shine through the scum.  As a fellow lesbian in her 40s, I've seen and experienced a lot of cheating and lying in my time, but nothing near as bad as this last relationship with my ex - pwBPD.  That really broke me for relationships.  Being in your 30s though, I do have more hope for you, but perhaps just being okay with being single for a time will be good for you.  Enjoy it!

Take Care!
apocalypsenow

[CottonClouds]

I would say there are a lot of liars and cheaters, but its in no way exclusive to lesbians. I think an excess of testosterone can create bad behaviors(it seems), but again not any specific gender or sexual orientation lies or cheats more. Honesty and faithfulness are second nature for me. But they were not always. I was different as a kid, always faithful, but I did not used to understand the power of honesty. Some great people came into my life and educated me and now I have very strong morals for myself. I did not hold my morals up to others though, which is why I fell for someone with BPD. Working on my own self esteem has helped me set up some new boundaries and its only uphill from here.

I think people should be ready for love, especially people with ex BPD partners, find out why you were drawn to them and that should help you discover more about yourself and help you in future relationships.

Best of luck,
~CottonClouds