Lol- yes! And often exactly the same trigger - a late package. And get this - H often won't even check tracking and can't tell me the exact day he ordered it. But he ordered it, it's a rip off not to have it, it's lost, it's gone, they owe him for his time... .
And yes, about other topics as well. I call it going down a rabbit hole because he seems to spiral worse and worse unless I can change the topic or end it somehow. Left unchallenged, he would go on for hours about his old job, anger with his family (his mother and sister), negative feelings about his appearance, lots of things. I think it may have to do with his emotional recall.
He can't remember events well. I can. I have a quasi-photographic memory, and it sucks. If I was not able to turn off my thoughts most days, I'd go crazy because it's like watching a movie. As a child, my defense was to dissociate from the feelings in the memories, which meant I could recite the facts of an event with little emotional content. My brain made it feel like it was someone else.
For H, he relives the negative feelings of an event, even if the facts are fuzzy, as if it was happening for the first time. He got his feelings hurt 20 years ago? He can relive that and still get just as mad about it as if it just happened. Me, I seem to have a (healthy or not) ability to usually throw those feelings in a closet until I feel it's okay to bring them back out, and time = distance for me. So the wounds are there, but not as deep.
Bascially, I try to catch the rabbit before it goes down the hole.
What is crazy to me is that my BPDbf can go on and on and on about this stuff that really has no real impact on anyhing but the minute I bring up something in depth he shuts down and gets moody and says he's over loaded... .he told me today i'm the first person that can ever just make him completely shut down... .I said yep I'm also the first person that had ever given a crap about why you think or feel the way you do and I point things out... .he actually agreed... .I was shocked I was preparing for a rage
My boyfriend is the same way with remembering things he always seems to relive the negative and bad... .I went through his phone 1 time almost 2 years ago and it's really the only thing I've done to "break his trust" and he will throw it in my face every chance he gets... .he says "even though you found something it's not ok you're intrusive and a bad person" I laugh at it now and he's stopped saying it... .
I also have MS and he will try to play off of that sometimes... .and say you're lying I didn't say that you have MS so you can't remember I set a very strict boundary that he will NEVER use my illness against me again
