In a Relationship One Month and She is Shutting Off

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi all, I met an amazing woman a month ago. And now I am here. She is about eight months into therapy. Familiar story, she finally got the right treatment after misdiagnosis etc and it's been going really well, and from the reading up I have done so far (boy this is an education) she seems to have been making all the right changes in her life. And then I come along sending her into a downward spiral, you know, by me being nice and stuff. Even though we are taking this real slow and we have talked really openly about it all, I'm now witnessing the lows, which because of her therapy she is at the stage where she can recognise it and even warn me, though I'm already spotting some of it... .so, even though I'm learning, any help would be greatly appreciated... .I've read a couple of books so far, but am having trouble with the now, while I catch up. Like, when they are shutting you off, what do you do? Do you call, do you txt, do you go in for a hug? Or leave them to it?

Help me brothers and sisters.

[Tipi]

Hi all, I met an amazing woman a month ago. And now I am here. She is about eight months into therapy. Familiar story, she finally got the right treatment after misdiagnosis etc and it's been going really well, and from the reading up I have done so far (boy this is an education) she seems to have been making all the right changes in her life. And then I come along sending her into a downward spiral, you know, by me being nice and stuff. Even though we are taking this real slow and we have talked really openly about it all, I'm now witnessing the lows, which because of her therapy she is at the stage where she can recognise it and even warn me, though I'm already spotting some of it... .so, even though I'm learning, any help would be greatly appreciated... .I've read a couple of books so far, but am having trouble with the now, while I catch up. Like, when they are shutting you off, what do you do? Do you call, do you txt, do you go in for a hug? Or leave them to it?

Help me brothers and sisters.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tipi]

I have just read a couple of threads about being their biggest cheerleader, good stuff, thanks. Seems to have done the trick. Communication re-established, though I'm just winging it at the moment... .are there any good videos out there to watch?

[Tattered Heart]

Hi TIPI,

Welcome ,

Let me make sure I'm understanding correctly. You've been dating a woman for a month and she is pushing you away? We have a lot of really great articles available for you to begin reading. It will be important for you to start your relationship off with well established boundaries, validation, and not walking on egg shells. You can find many of those articles on the right side of the page.

We have a great article called How a BPD Relationship Evolves . This might help you become aware of some of the dynamics going on in your relationship.

Another one of our articles that might help with push pull behavior is one called Fear of Engulfment