Moving through steps of divorce

[WildernessMan]

All my life I've heard stories of couples with kids getting a divorce. I never considered it may be me but here I am. What makes us deny something negative will happen, even when things look bleak?

My BPD wife served me with divorce papers on August 17 and wanted me out of the house right then. I didn't have anywhere to go and not enough income to support 2 seperate households, so I stayed put. We pass in the hallway but don't speak. Not my choice. My wife has driven a major wedge between myself and our kids, 17 and 14. It hurts deeply but I'm powerless to stop it.

Our oldest daughter, whom also has BPD and lives with us at 21, accused me of something totally false. Her accusation got filed with the courts and caused a court date to be set. You see these things on TV but never expect to experience it right? Anyway, the court date is tomorrow, Oct 17, and I'm waiting for my attorney to say if it's still on. My wife is asking for an outlandish settlement amount. My attorney put in a motion for mediation on Friday, which is supposed to occure this coming Friday.

Has anyone gone through something like this and just want it over? How do you not just come appart at the seams?
 

    
 
  

[Lucky Jim]

Hey WildernessMan, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through.  Yes, I have been in your shoes.  Like you, I never considered divorce as a possibility for me, yet the reality is that it happens everyday.  I would suggest that BPD raises the odds of divorce.  It sounds stressful that your daughter has made false accusations about you.  Perhaps she was influenced by your W?  In any event, sometimes a divorce can lead to a more positive atmosphere for all parties.  Don't rule out the possibility that you might be happier apart.  Feel free to pose any particular questions.

LuckyJim