Gaslighting not doing so well staying out of the mess

[Depression = 72% of members]

So I was doing well I thought with an episode of extreme gaslighting by both parents but now I can't get it all out of my head.  Am I feeding it or doing the right thing?  The story is I have PTSD from my upbringing and after a post-surgery psychosis that no one could explain at the time how I didn't actually die from a serotonin overload someone labelled me bipolar which I only found out this year (6 years later) that this is still on my file.  I have asked for a copy of my medical file from the locked psychiatric ward my mother took me to at the time.  They are implying that a private hospital that I use for PTSD support and my mother has been going to for "family support" have betrayed my trust and professional ethics by telling them that I have been misdiagnosed and my PTSD is actually BPD and my parents are perfectly normal.  I know this is lies and the nursing manager at this hospital has confirmed they are lying.  My parents seem to be holding over me things I said during the anaesthetic psychosis and before I was lucid enough to reclaim my rights and prevent doctors talking to them and from my very foggy memory I seem to think that staff at the public hospital actually overheard concerning behavours and banned them from visiting me.  They are telling me that the hospital has manipulated me into thinking they are the very ill ones and its actually me but I have been denied treatment.  So the private hospital has viewed my file and said that my parents are absolutely lying to me and I have requested a copy of my complete file from the locked ward but this will take about a month.  I want to get back to being me again and dealing with issues I have like recovering fully from the damage of neurological lyme disease.

[Nightingale]

So I was doing well I thought with an episode of extreme gaslighting by both parents but now I can't get it all out of my head.  Am I feeding it or doing the right thing?  The story is I have PTSD from my upbringing and after a post-surgery psychosis that no one could explain at the time how I didn't actually die from a serotonin overload someone labelled me bipolar which I only found out this year (6 years later) that this is still on my file.  I have asked for a copy of my medical file from the locked psychiatric ward my mother took me to at the time.  They are implying that a private hospital that I use for PTSD support and my mother has been going to for "family support" have betrayed my trust and professional ethics by telling them that I have been misdiagnosed and my PTSD is actually BPD and my parents are perfectly normal.  I know this is lies and the nursing manager at this hospital has confirmed they are lying.  My parents seem to be holding over me things I said during the anaesthetic psychosis and before I was lucid enough to reclaim my rights and prevent doctors talking to them and from my very foggy memory I seem to think that staff at the public hospital actually overheard concerning behavours and banned them from visiting me.  They are telling me that the hospital has manipulated me into thinking they are the very ill ones and its actually me but I have been denied treatment.  So the private hospital has viewed my file and said that my parents are absolutely lying to me and I have requested a copy of my complete file from the locked ward but this will take about a month.  I want to get back to being me again and dealing with issues I have like recovering fully from the damage of neurological lyme disease.

[Woolspinner2000]

Nightingale,

I'm very sorry that things are so tough for you right now. It can make each moment of a day challenging, can't it?

I'm glad that you are investigating, asking questions, and getting some answers. One of the nice things about being an adult is that now you CAN as those questions which maybe you were not as able to do before. You are not helpless and powerless any more. Isn't that hopeful? I know you may feel that way, but you get to make choices and discoveries based on your own observations now without having to believe half truths and lies.

Keep going! You can do this! What kind thing will you do for yourself today?

 
Wools

[Nightingale]

Thank you!  Yes I am feeling more empowered.  Being back here I have been able to look back at my old posts and see things I wrote I was going through at their hands in the past which is now being completely denied.  I have major memory issues due to the neurological lyme so having things in black and white that confirms what I felt was true based on very vague bits of memory is helping me. 

I also obviously need to get the misdiagnosis cleared up so I don't have bipolar on my file and it is correctly acknowledged that I am at risk of post-surgery psychosis, it has now happened twice but I informed my surgeon last time so they dealt with it in ICU plus I have been taking some medications without incident to support my genetics that isn't advised for people with bipolar disorder as it makes them very unstable. 

I have ignored a very love filled message from my mother because I just don't know what to do about them at the moment I don't know how to deal with the threats of police etc and getting told that I can't come near the house but its all ok because they validated my hurt feelings and now we get to pretend nothing happened... .until the next time she is triggered.