I don't really know where to start, but your posts has tons of red flags for me. But tbh I see them on both sides and I do not see any clear signs of BPD.
It sounds more like a creepy power thing which is going on.
But in the meantime you said you just met him once and that time you let him in your bedroom and he showed that weird behaviour?
Isn't that enough reason to just walk away directly? Just meeting once should not have created an emotional dependence or something like that... .so it still should be relatively easy to walk away. At least easier now than later on.
So why would you stay or even pursue this r/s?
The story is weird and a bit longer. I wasn't sure what i should write from it.
I know this person since 3 years. From university. So we have seen us often. But usually just talked via fb and text messages.
I really thought i could trust him. . i actually wanted to marry him and maybe leave with him to his country of birth. I know how weird all of this sounds. :/
He has a really cute/kind side. I do not want to lose him. .
He said that he does not like possessive women. And he feels lonely. And he seems to be ashamed of himself. Even if there is no reason for him. He is good looking and smart.