Dating someone that I believe has BPD

[Depression = 72% of members]

I've been dating someone for the last three months that I now believe has BPD. Our relationship was amazing for the first month then began to deteriorate. She always says she loves me so much but seems to always be mistrusting me and angry with me. I tried to break it off and she blocked me literally and physically. Obsessively called and texted me to the point of making herself sick. We are currently separated and I've come to realize she may have BPD. I care about her and want to understand her. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks

[PatriorsFirst]

I've been dating someone for the last three months that I now believe has BPD. Our relationship was amazing for the first month then began to deteriorate. She always says she loves me so much but seems to always be mistrusting me and angry with me. I tried to break it off and she blocked me literally and physically. Obsessively called and texted me to the point of making herself sick. We are currently separated and I've come to realize she may have BPD. I care about her and want to understand her. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Meili]

I'm sorry for what you're going through but glad you have found a community where many of us have been through similar experiences, and we can learn from each other.

Who decided to separate, you or her? Why; what happened?

I suggest you read the boards and the articles.  You will get a wealth of information, advice and support.

We are glad you are here with us and look forward to reading your story on the boards.

[once removed]

hi PatriorsFirst, i want to join Meili and say

what led you to learning about BPD? do you want to rekindle the relationship?

[PatriorsFirst]

We are separated but still in contact with each other. She has started seeing a therapist and mentioned she needed to "compartmentalize" things from her past. That comment led me to start asking questions about her behavior. I've started reading Stop Walking on Eggshells and so much of what is in the book is what I've gone through with her in the past few months. Like I said I care about her and want to help her if I can. Not sure getting back together is my end game but not ruling it out.

[Meili]

How do you think that you can help her?

I don't mean for that to sound snippy. I'm just curious as to what that would look like to you.

[PatriorsFirst]

How do you think that you can help her?

I don't mean for that to sound snippy. I'm just curious as to what that would look like to you.

not snippy. interesting you picked up on that comment. like I said I still care about her and I guess it's more about how I can deal with her behaviors. I'm trying to learn.

[Meili]

Thank you for clarifying. I just wanted to make sure that we were all on the same page.

I think that learning how to better handle the situation is a great place to start. There is a lot of information, experience and wisdom flowing around here. Learning all that you can about BPD will prove helpful in that a lot of what must be done is seems very counter-intuitive until you understand why.

There are a lot of great tools in the sidebar to the right of the page that are a good place to start.