From alpha male to beta male since BPD relationship

[Depression = 72% of members]

I don't have any interest in career and just being a man, I've lost the intent and aggression for life. Like I had so much drive in work career where I wanted to go etc, its all gone. I eat well and exercise regularly

Any advice or anything on this.

[lucky013]

I don't have any interest in career and just being a man, I've lost the intent and aggression for life. Like I had so much drive in work career where I wanted to go etc, its all gone. I eat well and exercise regularly

Any advice or anything on this.

[steelwork]

I'm really sorry. It sounds like depression to me, maybe, because everyone experiences that differently, and a loss of interest in things you used to care about is common--even if you don't feel exactly "sad." Does that seem possible?

Have you talked to a doctor about it?

One thing to remember: it might seem like forever, but it isn't.

[Skip]

72% of the members are depressed. Here is the clinical test - its easy and fast:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=300130.
(see first link).

[lucky013]

Yeah i have been to doctors about it and all they want to do is put my on anti depression tablets, i self medicated weed for a long time. I don't want something to numb the problem as i am doing a good job of that now, i want to move forward. I was very active until a recent injury that is currently being fixed. i have cut out alcohol and weed, i will clean up my diet further and add some more variety of exercise however its not easy with a bad shoulder atm. I do yoga most weeks also.

Any other suggestions ?

[Harley Quinn]

I was against medication too for years.  I have now been diagnosed with a mood disorder, which I always felt I managed well by myself.  Much like yourself I'd add in things, remove things, consider my activities, push myself to keep going and eventually make it through so I'd always rejected the medicines offered.  I did however insist on talking therapy and had a counsellor for a year which was extremely helpful.  I literally felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders at the end of each session.  Do you speak to anyone about how you feel?  Friends/family/therapist?

After my counselling ended some very traumatic things happened in my life and I was no longer able to manage with my usual coping methods, so I reluctantly accepted a short trial of an SSRI.  It is of course individual choice.  I've found it a huge help and in fact makes me better able to engage in other methods of working through the issues and get more benefit out of these. 

For myself I've usually found benefits in getting outdoors, being in nature, exercise - even just going for a walk if you're injured, uplifting music, spending time with friends and loved ones, connecting with others - even chatting to someone in the supermarket and sharing a laugh with a stranger, taking time to relax, being present with my feelings rather than pushing them down, doing things I enjoy even if I'm not feeling motivated (a pushy friend helps), trying something I've never done before, giving and receiving kindness whilst allowing myself a moment to acknowledge the feelings this creates, meditation and practising gratitude.

Love and light x   

[MeandThee29]

Normal but frustrating.

I was highly organized and a powerhouse at getting things done before the big split.

Now I have days when I can't focus. My style of depression is more scattered and unfocused. I don't think that's enough for medication, but I do find when I'm that way that I do better after a nap or meditation. My college kids live at home and are having the same issues. Thankfully they're both strong students are doing fine in their classes. We all have been seeing a therapist.

So we accept that. I have a light that burned out in the kitchen over a week ago, and none of us can get around to replacing it. When my oldest comes home from work around dinner time, I'm going to see if he can help because I probably shouldn't be climbing up on the kitchen island. We put off the major yard work until next weekend because they're studying for midterms, and I'm catching up on work. In the "old" days, we didn't procrastinate like that. LOL.