Can I Help My Friend?

[Kipmo]

I started by being a listening ear to one who was in crisis. I believe that my friendship prevented a suicide. But after several years I now believe that this is. BPD and beyond my ability to help, survive, ... .

After several of her meltdown and very bad attacks on me, I don’t know if I should continue to ‘save’ her or escape. How can I keep going? How can I leave without her being ‘abandonded’ once again?

Big tears now... .

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tattered Heart]

Hi Kipmo,

I'm sorry that you are feeling so confused right now. It's very emotional having a relationship with a pwBPD who has suicidal tendencies.

Us nons have a way of trying to rescue our pwBPD. We think that we are the power behind their survival. We try to fix them. It's scary to think that without us in their life they will hurt themselves. We get caught up in Enmeshment & Codependency

It takes a lot of time and commitment to begin to make things better. Can you tell us a little more about the attacks on you? Can you give an example?