Update on my situation w BPD ex

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

So it's been about a week and a half two weeks I haven't seen her. She is called me and usually have gone but I decided roughly two weeks ago not to go and she even tried to bait me in with sex and I almost worked to be quite honest.

The issue right now for me is that I actually met someone and have been able to create this really wholesome and positive relationship with this person nothing physical yet but almost like a really great friendship that I really wanted with my ex. This new person and I have plan to look Roadtrip for New Year's Eve for about 12 days. I really needed something like this in my life my ex has no idea and I really don't want to tell her because I'm scared she would do something. I just feel a little bit confused with this whole entire thing but when I speak to this new person I actually laugh and that's something I haven't really felt with someone in a long time.

This girl that I'm currently speaking to it's just a really good person and she doesn't deserve someone hurt her and I know deep in my heart the relationship I had with my ex is over and I can never get what I need from her no matter how many times I I tried. For some reason she likes to reel me in and then hurt me and the cycle always continues for no reason at all. I will never have fun with her I will always be simply a puppet walking on eggshells being blamed or hit. This new person makes me feel like I'm important and that my feelings and opinions count and actually listens to me. This is more than what my ex ever gave me in the last 3 years.

This new girls really kind generous and thoughtful quite opposite of what I had before. The issue I'm running into right now it's even though I'm having been with my ex I feel a sense of guilt and I don't know where it's coming from. Has anyone ever experienced something like this? My ex tried to call me 3 times yesterday and I didn't pick up.

Even though I was abused by my ex I still have a sense of love for her and I really wish that you could help herself. I feel sad that I had to leave to save myself I feel sad that she doesn't even realize what she does and in fact tries to tell me that on the problem and blames me for everything. My family is happy that I am no longer seeing her per se even though I have seen her a few times the last couple weeks. She is gone off her birth control and actually invited me to have sex the other night which really got me nervous because I'm pretty sure she might be looking for something... .

[epicdaydream]

So it's been about a week and a half two weeks I haven't seen her. She is called me and usually have gone but I decided roughly two weeks ago not to go and she even tried to bait me in with sex and I almost worked to be quite honest.

The issue right now for me is that I actually met someone and have been able to create this really wholesome and positive relationship with this person nothing physical yet but almost like a really great friendship that I really wanted with my ex. This new person and I have plan to look Roadtrip for New Year's Eve for about 12 days. I really needed something like this in my life my ex has no idea and I really don't want to tell her because I'm scared she would do something. I just feel a little bit confused with this whole entire thing but when I speak to this new person I actually laugh and that's something I haven't really felt with someone in a long time.

This girl that I'm currently speaking to it's just a really good person and she doesn't deserve someone hurt her and I know deep in my heart the relationship I had with my ex is over and I can never get what I need from her no matter how many times I I tried. For some reason she likes to reel me in and then hurt me and the cycle always continues for no reason at all. I will never have fun with her I will always be simply a puppet walking on eggshells being blamed or hit. This new person makes me feel like I'm important and that my feelings and opinions count and actually listens to me. This is more than what my ex ever gave me in the last 3 years.

This new girls really kind generous and thoughtful quite opposite of what I had before. The issue I'm running into right now it's even though I'm having been with my ex I feel a sense of guilt and I don't know where it's coming from. Has anyone ever experienced something like this? My ex tried to call me 3 times yesterday and I didn't pick up.

Even though I was abused by my ex I still have a sense of love for her and I really wish that you could help herself. I feel sad that I had to leave to save myself I feel sad that she doesn't even realize what she does and in fact tries to tell me that on the problem and blames me for everything. My family is happy that I am no longer seeing her per se even though I have seen her a few times the last couple weeks. She is gone off her birth control and actually invited me to have sex the other night which really got me nervous because I'm pretty sure she might be looking for something... .

[Tattered Heart]

It's only been a couple weeks since your breakup. A long term relationship can take months to get over. I once heard that it takes 1 month to get over a relationship for every 6 months that the relationship lasted.  I can also imagine that it's normal to still feel a bit of guilt about perusing another relationship out of habit of being in a long term relationship. On the other hand, the guilt may be your own subconscious way of telling you to wait before starting a new relationship.

Are you ready to start a new relationship? Have you taken the time to truly work through whatever caused you to stay in a relationship with someone with BPD? Have you reviewed your own boundaries and how will you prevent things from getting bad in this next relationship?

[epicdaydream]

Hey thank you for answering me. I feel guilt inside but let me tell you, I was always shamed for doing anything ... .She could do whatever she wanted. I haven't lived, loved, or laughed I'm 3 years. I owe myself a chance to be happy. But it's hard.

I feel like I've been dragged out in a desert and left for dead. I deserve someone who makes me happy. Am I ready? My hearts dying for it. Do i still feel the sting from my experience... .yes. Will I make this new person pay for it, no way. She does not deserve that baggage. I've been letting go for 3 years and finally got the courage to do it.

This new girl lives abroad and will be coming to see me in 8 weeks. I feel like that will give me additional time to heal.

I wanted someone to love. I chose wrong. She took everything and gave me sex thst in the end was also managed by her ... .I totally gave up the things i needed and wanted for someone who wanted always more. Goodluck.

It's only been a couple weeks since your breakup. A long term relationship can take months to get over. I once heard that it takes 1 month to get over a relationship for every 6 months that the relationship lasted.  I can also imagine that it's normal to still feel a bit of guilt about perusing another relationship out of habit of being in a long term relationship. On the other hand, the guilt may be your own subconscious way of telling you to wait before starting a new relationship.

Are you ready to start a new relationship? Have you taken the time to truly work through whatever caused you to stay in a relationship with someone with BPD? Have you reviewed your own boundaries and how will you prevent things from getting bad in this next relationship?