New diagnosis

[Kbearmama]

Our 20 year old daughter has just been diagnosed with BPD.  She is participating in a wilderness therapy program now and is about to get the news and be recommended to after care program where she will engage in DBT and further support. She really wants to go back to college and I’m just preparing myself for the blow up she will face emotionally when she gets the diagnosis, recommendation and our boundary that we aren’t paying for anything but aftercare at this point. Has any parent be in this spot and have any suggestions?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

Hi Kbearmama,

Welcome and hello

I'm sorry for the sadness and suffering that brings you here, and glad you found the site.

Sometimes, BPD loved ones can surprise us with their response. I remember reading in Buddha and the Borderline, a memoir written by a woman diagnosed with BPD, that she felt a bit robbed that no one had told her about her diagnosis at 17. It wasn't until she was in her late 20s and trying to understand her own history of hospitalization that she finally discovered it, with some relief. I know everyone is different, but perhaps there is some hope that your daughter will feel some safety in the dx, even if she is unhappy about not going back to college.

Can you present it to her as DBT in preparation for college? I don't know the conditions under which she entered wilderness therapy. Did she already try college and have any success?

Keep posting. It really does help.