New Discovery

[beads]

Hello, I am in my 60's and I have just discovered that my mother, who is still alive, has BPD. I have had many emotional problems all my life, especially anxiety and insomnia. I feel a sense of relief that my mother's behavior can be explained.  Now I can let go of the feeling that something was wrong with me; first step toward healing.  I would like to hear from other adults who grew up with a parent with BPD and how it has affected them. Thank you

[AskingWhy]

Beads, welcome to the forums.  I am glad you are learning to heal from the experience of having a BPD mother.  OFten the realization is the first step toward healing.

You may wish to read specifically about BPD mothers. (You can find books on e-tailers.)

Growing up with one is frightening as pwBPD are often volatile and abusive.  One day you can be loved and praised, and the next hour verbally abused and physically beaten.

https://bpdfamily.com/content/Dr-Jekyll-and-Mr-Hyde

BPD is often found with NPD and they call this co-morbidity. 

Click around and see the topics and lesson for people with BPD parents. 

I am sure you are relieved that there are now answers.  Anxiety and insomnia are common in those with parents and personality disorders, and you can find relief.  It's like having C-PTSD, or complex PTSD from being abused in childhood over a long period of time.

Maybe this link will be of help.

https://bpdfamily.com/surviving_abuse/01.htm

Again, welcome to the forum.

[HappyChappy]

Welcome Beads, 

I remember that eureka moment, where I discover my mom was BPD and bro NPD. It took some time before I realise that I needed to discover how it had affected me, before I could heal. Years of being brainwashed to serve the BPD mistress, made it hard for me to help myself.  Knowledge is power, but only if you act on it. How are you planning to use this new found knowledge ? Welcome to the forum.

[Fie]

Hello Beads 


I have a BPD mum and a dad with NPD traits.
I too have suffered the consequences of this. Only when I realized I could start to heal.

Something that I had to learn is that I can (and should) have boundaries. I didn't have those before, and this has made that I attracted other BPD/NPD people throughout my life.

It's been a very interesting journey so far. Something that I am learning right now, is that I can trust my own feelings. I do not always have to doubt my own feeling/opinion as soon as someone else doesn't agree with me. It's also a learning process to decide for myself what's best for me, without worrying if it's really ok.

Have you read any books on BPD ?