I agree that you are not in a position to make any decisions at the moment when emotions are raw. You don't have to. It's just that this time apart can give you some time to think .
Enjoy the time with your family, get some rest and hopefully you will feel a bit more clearheaded.
By way of update, a "recycle" happened as of last Tuesday, November 21, culminating with "I love you's" as of Wednesday, November 22; then though she went on another rage over something from Wednesday night, through Thursday (no communication at all on Thursday, per her). Friday we sort of had lengthy text communication back and forth, which really got nowhere; she then raged on Saturday and mouthed off. She then sent me 2 text messages later on Saturday, and 2 on Sunday, all of which I did not respond to. So we are done. In large part, I took a lot of time, as suggested by others here, to do some more research and reading (A LOT) over the weekend, and I simply decided I am single, I went through a lot as far as my divorce goes, I know that the incidents that constantly happened with my uBPD would continue for 40 years if I was with her, as she would NEVER get help, so I'm finished with the relationship. I have made the decision for my own well being. I do not desire to obtain the necessary tools to deal with this for the rest of my life, and I don't want my kids being exposed further to it. I'm sure I will need support of those on the Board and elsewhere (perhaps counseling soon), but I have made my decision.
All of your help and comments from everybody did help get me here and steer me where I needed to go; as well as the suggestions about clearing my head.
I know I am in for a long road after this point. But I also know that I can not build my life around her behaviors; I'm single, unlike a lot of people I sense on this board, so I can get out of this; I'm taking that exit door - the "abandonment" assault will come at some point from her, I suspect, but that's fine - I just won't be spoken to or treated like I was just to have a relationship with her: in the end, she's not worth it.
