Odd outbursts/things your exBPD / BPD did

[limetaste]

I don't know where to put this thread but I thought it would be interesting and also funny to have a thread in which we write about some odd outbursts and the reason behind them we experience in our relationship. Maybe some of us have experienced similar outbursts and the reason behind them.

Cheating and abusive actions doesn't really need to be talked about here. This thread is mostly for situations with stranger behaviour that left us thinking "What the heck?"

I can go first, I got many examples. I'm just picking one... .

Me and ex-girlfriend who I lived with were about to make some breakfast, sandwiches. We made them together, but she made hers more advanced, so I ended up getting ready a bit quicker. I sat down at the kitchen table and started eating. She gets furious and says I'm not respecting her, that I only think about myself for not waiting for her before I start eating. She takes her plate with sandwhiches and throws it down the trashcan, with toppings flying everywhere. Her coffee cup she just slams down in the sink. She then does this childish thing (like always) and goes into our bedroom, ignoring me, and starts surfing around on her phone. Laying there all furious and moody and ignore me when I try to talk with her and calm her down.

Any of you experienced the "sandwich-terror" on Elm Street?

[Duffer09]

My ex-uBPDgf and I are near the front of a long lineup waiting to board our flight home from a mostly nice 2 week vacation.  She suddenly leaves the line to hunt for a place to charge her phone.  She waves me over to join her.  I motion back that no I'm staying in line.  Fine, there were no dirty looks or indications during the flight that she was angry.  Everything was good between us during the 8 hour flight.  Just after we land while taxiing to the gate I put my hand on her knee.  She then explodes about why didn't I leave that lineup to join her, and that I didn't want to spend time with her and so on.  I was embarrassed as anyone seated near us could hear this.  It was totally out of the blue, and the first and last time she raged at me in public.  

[limetaste]

My ex-uBPDgf and I are near the front of a long lineup waiting to board our flight home from a mostly nice 2 week vacation.  She suddenly leaves the line to hunt for a place to charge her phone.  She waves me over to join her.  I motion back that no I'm staying in line.  Fine, there were no dirty looks or indications during the flight that she was angry.  Everything was good between us during the 8 hour flight.  Just after we land while taxiing to the gate I put my hand on her knee.  She then explodes about why didn't I leave that lineup to join her, and that I didn't want to spend time with her and so on.  I was embarrassed as anyone seated near us could hear this.  It was totally out of the blue, and the first and last time she raged at me in public.  

Mine never raged in public, she was a bit shy and I guess she didn't want people seeing her like that. It was mostly at home, when everything was fine she would rage about small things, something I said or did.

Another example here, also in the kitchen. This was before Halloween. We had bought a pumpkin and she was going to cook pumpkin soup for us. She was mixing the pumpkin and cream with a stick blender in an open bowl, so the mixture splashed up. I noticed this so I took a big piece of paper to hand over to her, telling her "Hey, try doing like this - take this piece of paper and cover the bowl when you mix." She took it as a PURE INSULT and got furious, she thought I was being patronizing and critized her, so she just left the kitchen moody, sad, raged, and went into the bedroom again. She "wasn't hungry" anymore and didn't want to eat.

I can understand why she felt this way. Her abusive father was very patronizing against her in her childhood, so this was definitely a trigger. Even though I meant well and just tried to help her.

The Smashing Pumpkins btw really do have some good songs about BPD. Try listen to the song called "Soma".

[In a bad way]

She's in a great mood and we are watching a funny TV program , then all of a sudden she says to me " why are you laughing at this you hate this TV show?"
I tell her we watch it every week and it's funny and good.
The s*** hits the fan... .I get accused of pretending to like it.
She kicks off good style... .I am the biggest bas*** in the world.
Another What the heck moment.

[TurbanCowboy]

I am at a football game at one of the largest stadiums in the country, we are tailgating and she wants to go to the bathroom.  She wants to take me away from the tailgate to help her find a portable toilet which are all around.  Some of the details are a little foggy but she told me she wanted me to take her to find a portable toilet because she thought I would know which would be the best and cleanest one to use as if I could possibly have the portable toilet situation scoped out for 100k people.  In typical fashion she would not cave in her belief that she thought it was possible that I could know.

I have a million stories but last summer I drove us 12 in hours in a tropical rain storm to a southern destination for a 5 day vacation.  We didn't get in till the middle of the morning.  Not wanting to waste the day I got up early so we could go to the beach, etc.  That night the two of us go to a restaurant and it happened to be dead and I hit a wall because I hadn't slept the night before.  My wife because I'm clearly tired and not up for a ton of conversation proceeds to bury me for wasting her time and our money to go out to dinner.  I couldn't reason with her that I didn't intend to crash at the restaurant but the place was dead and I hadn't slept much after a stressful drive.  Once again, made it all about her feelings.

The only feelings that ever mattered in my relationship that has hit the skids after 10 years are hers and it was like that from week 1.

[SummerStorm]

My ex-friend (well, not really ex-friend, since we've decided that we want to try to be friends again, but whatever) and I worked together for a year at a high school.  One day, there was a fire drill scheduled for the period when I had my department meeting and she had her planning period.  She texted me and asked if she could come to my department meeting (we were in grade level pairs, so it wasn't the whole department) and then go out to the fire drill with me because she "didn't want to be alone." 

She came up to my department leader's room and awkwardly sat there until the fire alarm went off.  We went out, and she plopped herself down on the grass and started picking grass and tying it in knots, like a 5 year old.  Literally everyone else was standing, and there she was, sitting there.  I wasn't about to sit down, especially with the administrators walking around to check that everyone was out of the building, so I proceeded to have a conversation with two of my co-workers.  When it was time to go back in, she walked in ahead of me and went back down to her classroom.  A few minutes later, I got a text, telling me not to come down to her room after work.  I decided to anyway (stupid decision on my part, but I honestly had no idea what I had done wrong), and when I walked in, she coldly looked at me and asked, ":)id you want something?"  I told her I was sorry if I did or said something to make her mad and then left.  Soon after, she sent me a barrage of texts, calling me a "fake b___h" and all kinds of terrible names. 

To this day, it is the most bizarre thing that's ever happened to me. 

[Teereese]

ExBPDh lost all reason and logic, which is typical. His outbursts caused some serious head scratching. Towards the end of the r/s he could not control himself in front of others, which helped me to get out of the FOG, as others were now seeing the gaslighting and manipulation. He had been a master at keeping it at home, so others would think I was crazy.

He went on a rant when the oven element burned out. He was not buying a new stove or wasting money fixing it because I never cook (I cooked just about daily and baked quite often ) I looked up the part and ordered it. When it came in, I replaced it, but couldn't put the back panel back on because he had hidden the screws.

He traded in an 2005 Dodge Dakota Quad Cab 4x4 with plow and paid cash on top for a 1997 Dodge Ram without ever saying a word to me. Then complained to me because there were all kinds of issues with it. For the record, it was bright red, with lights on top and a push bar - he got distracted by the bells and whistles and we had no plow :-(

He ranted one day about our daughters having cellphones (after over a year of them having them) and told our daughters there were extra house phones they could take with them. Yes, wireless house phones that require to be near the base for reception. Our daughters did not know what to say, they were confused and stunned.

He ranted about not replacing the battery on my 8 year old car because it only died because my cell phone charger was plugged in. He literally handed me jumper cables and told me to jump it each time I needed to start it. I bought a battery and installed it myself and he literally raged and promptly took his jumper cables back.

He decided to attempt to carry a 30 foot ladder, extended, by himself and then spit fire at me because he lost control of it and it almost crushed him. As if I could have magically caught it as it flailed out of control.

He decided it would be a good idea to go out on fishing on his canoe, alone, with no life vest and get drunk. Canoe tipped, he went in, ruined his work cell phone, tread water, dragging his boat to shore (according to him) for who knows how long. He came home and raged at me and our daughters because no one tried to save him. We weren't with him and had no idea.

It was daily with him and I learned not to take it personal but he became dangerous and put our family, home and lives at risk too many times. So many times, I just avoided being around him for my own health and safety.

Yup, the other side, after it is over, is much better.

[limetaste]

ExBPDh lost all reason and logic, which is typical. His outbursts caused some serious head scratching. Towards the end of the r/s he could not control himself in front of others, which helped me to get out of the FOG, as others were now seeing the gaslighting and manipulation. He had been a master at keeping it at home, so others would think I was crazy.

He went on a rant when the oven element burned out. He was not buying a new stove or wasting money fixing it because I never cook (I cooked just about daily and baked quite often ) I looked up the part and ordered it. When it came in, I replaced it, but couldn't put the back panel back on because he had hidden the screws.

He traded in an 2005 Dodge Dakota Quad Cab 4x4 with plow and paid cash on top for a 1997 Dodge Ram without ever saying a word to me. Then complained to me because there were all kinds of issues with it. For the record, it was bright red, with lights on top and a push bar - he got distracted by the bells and whistles and we had no plow :-(

He ranted one day about our daughters having cellphones (after over a year of them having them) and told our daughters there were extra house phones they could take with them. Yes, wireless house phones that require to be near the base for reception. Our daughters did not know what to say, they were confused and stunned.

He ranted about not replacing the battery on my 8 year old car because it only died because my cell phone charger was plugged in. He literally handed me jumper cables and told me to jump it each time I needed to start it. I bought a battery and installed it myself and he literally raged and promptly took his jumper cables back.

He decided to attempt to carry a 30 foot ladder, extended, by himself and then spit fire at me because he lost control of it and it almost crushed him. As if I could have magically caught it as it flailed out of control.

He decided it would be a good idea to go out on fishing on his canoe, alone, with no life vest and get drunk. Canoe tipped, he went in, ruined his work cell phone, tread water, dragging his boat to shore (according to him) for who knows how long. He came home and raged at me and our daughters because no one tried to save him. We weren't with him and had no idea.

It was daily with him and I learned not to take it personal but he became dangerous and put our family, home and lives at risk too many times. So many times, I just avoided being around him for my own health and safety.

Yup, the other side, after it is over, is much better.

Well, if you look at the bright side, this showed you don't really need a man to do "manly stuff". You seem like a very handy woman that can take care or yourself. Fixing your oven by yourself, fixing your car. You rock! And I'm not saying this in a patronizing way.

[Bo123]

We were at a large busy store shopping "together".  She gets a phone call, 1st talking in English then very loud in her native language.  People 75ft away were all looking as she was almost yelling.  I simply looked at her at put my finger to my lips just to let her know she was louder than she realized, I didn't say anything.  When she got off the cell, she started yelling at me just as loud to never tell her to sssshhhh again and went on a minute rant with everyone looking on, I never said that in the 1st place, I was courteous about it.  I quicker got the items I needed and went straight to check-out and to my car, drove her home, she asked if I was coming in and I said "nope".  I had always treated her like a queen, she had never done anything like that, let alone in public.  Had she said wait I got to get my items, I would have handed her a $20 and said take a cab.  It was daylight, short ride, very safe otherwise I would have waited.  She had gotten away with her moodiness many times before but at a low level,  she knew she was moody at times and told me before we started dating.  I assumed normal nature's hormonal difference and it had never been a issue with any prior gf's.  She may have BPD, but that day she knew she crossed the line and hit the limit.  Never again did she do that in public and the next day she called me on her lunch break and all was normal and nothing was ever said about it.

[stixx44]

We were laying on the couch together watching Game of Thrones.  I got up to use the bathroom.  When I came back, she had changed positions so that her feet were on the top of the couch.  I went to the other side of the couch facing her and put my feet up, touching hers.  Three minutes later, she gets up, goes into her bedroom, and slams the door.  I went in to see what had just happened, and she wouldn’t talk to me.  I went out to the living room, scratching my head and asking the cat “What just happened?”  She finally emerged and yelled at me for pulling away from her and being distant.  That was the beginning of the end for me.  I packed up my clothes and my cat and left.

[araneina]

We had gone to a wedding together.  This was about 2 weeks after he sort-of broke up with me out of the blue, but then he still expected me to go to this wedding with him.

The wedding was intimate and sweet.  We were in his truck driving to a restaurant to have dinner with the bridal party.  Suddenly he slammed his hands on the steering wheel and yelled "F*** marriage and f*** love!" We had to hang out in a parking lot so he could smoke a few cigarettes before heading to the restaurant.  Of course he was all smiles and sweetness during dinner.

It was... .interesting.  And foretelling.  If only I knew what was going to happen over the following several months.

[Husband321]

Just returned from a vacation that actually went great.  Sitting outside.

Wife "I want my tubes tied "

"Why?"

"You won't like our kids more than your current kid".  (Storms off and goes to bed)

Another time, everything going well.  She said something about 10 feet away from me in another room.  Was on the phone but I didn't know. ...

Thinking she was talking to me I said "what hun"

Her reply. "Stay the ___ out of my business!"   

[once removed]

after we broke up, i was trying to get my stuff back, so we had a couple of brief text exchanges about it. the last time, she told me to email her a list of my stuff and i told her i would.

she replied "thanks" and then almost immediately replied ":)OGGIES WENT WALK N SAY WOOFY".

context: she had long wanted a dog, and her new boyfriend had a few. i figure he was at work and she was telling him she walked the dogs, and sent it to me.

man i must have ruminated about that for ages. it still gets referenced as a joke sometimes between my friends and me.

[blooming]

Funny how your ex got angry with you for starting to eat before her. My ex always got really annoyed when I waited for him so we could eat together, he said he felt rushed by that and I should just *** start eating already.

Also he had this weird outburst where he would say that the whole world was f*cked up and that he hated humanity and that people were horrible etc. He pretty much hated everyone except for his friends and family and even about them he was very judgmental.

[blooming]

We were laying on the couch together watching Game of Thrones.  I got up to use the bathroom.  When I came back, she had changed positions so that her feet were on the top of the couch.  I went to the other side of the couch facing her and put my feet up, touching hers.  Three minutes later, she gets up, goes into her bedroom, and slams the door.  I went in to see what had just happened, and she wouldn’t talk to me.  I went out to the living room, scratching my head and asking the cat “What just happened?”  She finally emerged and yelled at me for pulling away from her and being distant.  That was the beginning of the end for me.  I packed up my clothes and my cat and left.

My exBPD also always accused me of being distant and never telling him everything and not wanting his help at the weirdest moments... .And the stupid thing that he was the one who never told anything about how he was feeling, while I was really open about everything. Odd.

[Pretty Woman]

There are a few humdingers. Unfortunately, many of these things happened at occasions of importance, where they were tarnished by her behaviors. Thank you for this post! After typing this I see how crazy our union was and how grateful I am to be out of my situation.

-I was a "Best Woman" at my best guy friend's wedding. At the wedding, my ex was upset I wasn't paying enough attention to her, and picked a drawn out fight with me in the bathroom. While in there, I missed singing with my best friend. We were in an acapella group in HS and three of us were to sing. They couldn't find me and sang without me.

-At the same wedding, my ex, still mad I wasn't paying attention to her, got on the dance floor and "grinded" the father-of-the-bride in front of the mother-of-the-bride. We had to go to their home the next day for an open house which was very embarrassing for me.

-Once I was hosting a "Happy Hour" at a bar after work. It was all gay women and my ex felt they were all "competition" apparently. This was just a social hour for friends, not some dating function. While I was in the middle of a conversation with a group of ladies, my ex straddled the high-back chair (slid into the chair, behind me-same chair) and wrapped her legs around my waist telling me she "loved me". She was 42 acting like a five year old... .in a fully packed bar.

-Once in a bar my ex made out with one of our mutual friends in front of me (our friend was very drunk), just to see what it was like to kiss her. As she rammed her tongue down her throat I ran off to the bathroom in tears.

-When we first met (a few months in), we got into an argument over politics in my living room. She called me a few nasty names which were not appropriate given our conversation. At that moment, in that moment which was the most clarity I ever had in that relationship, I told her she would never speak to me like that and to get out of my house. I asked for my key back and she bolted from my house saying I was "not breaking up with her". I had to trick her to come back and she ended up crying telling me she was abused as a child, yada yada. I bought into it and little did I realize that was the moment she had won. She knew she could manipulate me and that she did. I regret I didn't trust that first instinct, but I learned a lot from what followed.