introduction

[Flyfisherwoman]

Hi,
I'm just posting for the first time as after a lot of research, I have found this site an excellent resource so far. I am determined to develop better communication skills so that I can find a way through managing my relationship with my son who is 21yrs of age, lives out of home and has BPD.
Thank you for reading this and for posting things that I have read. It has been encouraging to read that I am not on my own and there is a way to develop rather than remain in conflict and destruction.
I am sure I will be using this invaluable resource often.
All the best.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

I'm so, so glad you found us Flyfisherwoman... .but so, so sorry for the circumstances that have brought you here.

You write... ."It has been encouraging to read that I am not on my own and there is a way to develop rather than remain in conflict and destruction."  Wonderful, positive attitude!   

First of all, Flyfisherwoman, you certainly are not alone.  Sometimes it boggles my mind when I see how many newcomers show up on this forum... .all with different stories... .but all with the common thread of living with someone (in our cases, a child) who exhibits hurtful/harmful BPD behaviours... .towards us, their parents, and also unto themselves.

Secondly, there is so much information on this website on how to develop and work on better communication skills with our BPD kids.  I'm  sure you will agree when I write that we, as parents, always try to do the best we can for our children... .and when we know better... .we try to do better.  The information on this site helps us to know better.  You will read of strategies that have worked for others and some that haven't.   All give food-for-thought. 

For me... .first I had to learn how to look after ME better.  My world, my level of happiness, had been dependent upon my uBPD daughter and her moods.  I had handed her that power and she knew she had it.  Changes had to come about... .but the only person I had the ability to change was me.  That is a work-in-progress... .but I am progressing.

Hope to hear more from you, Flyfisherwoman.  We are here to help each other.

Huat