Hi - First Post

[Unsure35]

After 35 years of a rocky marriage and 2 adult children - and always being blamed as the person with the problem - it was such a relief to finally stumble across the Eggshell books and this website.
My wife has gotten worse over the last 5 years to the point where I'm considering going for a divorce.  

We've been in and out of couples counseling our whole 40 years together and it was in in the latest 2 rounds (1 going 3 years thru Oct 2017 and 1 going 3 visits in Nov 2017) with different therpists that I finally began to wake up and not accept the blame that I'm the one with all the problems.

Until I came across the books and the website - I couldn't put a name on what has been happening, but now that I found this material - it is a relief - but Im stuck on a number of fronts on what to do next.  This is like a Xmass present from heaven... .

Ideally - I'd like to find a support group in the Lowell, MA area or something in the suburbs Northwest of Boston.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Turkish]

You might look into this for local support: NAMI Massachusetts

What kinds of things are you struggling with specifically right now that we can help support you with?

[heartandwhole]

Welcome Unsure35 !



I'm glad you found us. I can understand feeling relieved and stuck at the same time. News that you have been dealing with BPD/traits can evoke a lot of change and soul-searching.

You've found a community that really understands what you are going through. And the site has tons of tools that can help make things better. I hope you will give yourself time to process this new information before attempting to make far-reaching decisions. We're here to listen and share our experiences with you.

Turkish has shared a good resource that can steer you toward support in your area. I know that the McLean Hospital in your area is a very respected institution offering support for families dealing with BPD and other mental health conditions.

When you can, tell us how things are going for you at the moment. Is your wife open to looking at her issues at all? Are your two children aware of what you've discovered?

Keep writing; it really helps to share your experiences with others. We're here to support you.

heartandwhole