Feeling confused

[Sara1]

Been married to a BPD and feels like all we do recently is argue. He's kind one minute then rude another. He's so loving and good, then makes mean remark- I confront him and ask him to apologize. He will. But it never ends cycle continues. Recently he's blaming me for getting triggered and upset- it's just soo draining... I feel like I need to get a divorce but not sure if that is the answer either- want to work things out but it's so hard. Learning to stop enabling him which has been big issue... I know I'm getting stronger and wiser but less patient with his rudeness and  drama... perhaps that's good thing! Praying God helps me figure this out and/or get out of this marriage if needed... .so hard to know what's right move

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[DaddyBear77]

Hello Sara1, welcome to the family. I'm glad you found us.

I can really relate to the ambiguity you feel - one minute you fee like divorce is the best option, but the next you really want to work things out. You can go from the best thing that ever happened to him to the absolute worst thing, all in about 30 seconds.

You mentioned in your post that you've learned to "stop enabling him" - what does that mean? What were you enabling, and how did you stop?

I think it's great you are starting to take a look at your role. The only thing we really can do here is work on ourselves, and our actions and reactions in the face of BPD.