3rd party narc returns

[Perdita]

How I long for a peaceful festive season free of drama, intrigue, lies and deception.

My r/s with my BPD bf has improved much during this year. After 5 years he is talking about moving in together (although I won't believe it until it happens).

He started seeing a psychologist a couple of weeks ago. Finally after years of me begging him to. Yet I am a bit worried as to why he is so very tight lipped about his 3 sessions so far.  He says it is not about us.

My current crisis is that the horrid narcissist whom he has idealised for many years is back in town - and suddenly he is acting differently towards me again. 

He is on leave for the holidays. I was looking forward to spending quality time together. Instead, I only saw him briefly on Christmas, did not even see him on Boxing Day. I saw him today, but the night ended with him informing me that he will not be seeing me tomorrow. He claims he wants to he alone, but yesterday he said the same yet ended up visiting the narc. We got in a terrible fight.

I know this narc is out to destroy the r/s as she has been for years (she hates my guts, a mutual feeling). This time she is in full revenge mode after he recently unfriended her on Facebook after I insisted (was newly added to his list after a long absence).

He is so distant again. Doesn't want to spend much time with me despite all the plans we had. He even shouted at me the other day to "f**k off" after I told him that I don't want him hanging out with her.

This is triangulation but with a very willing 3rd party. I don't know how to handle it. The thought of him hanging out with her tomorrow while I sit at home is very upsetting.

Any tips?

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[rolling_stone]

Well, it seems I'm having very similar problem

What helps me is trying to take an insight into mind/emotions/etc of my (currently not) girlfriend. Knowledge that BPD is a condition rather than some menaceful egoism, alongside with at least superficial understanding or its mechanisms, helps me to stand her border gf's behavior. And, it might be hard at the beginning, but thinking that from every bad thing might come the good one, is also uplifting

Good luck and all the best!