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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Question about how pwBPD present themselves?  (Read 529 times)
RollerMom75

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Posts: 16


« on: January 15, 2018, 11:25:57 PM »

It’s been 2 weeks since my fiancée (pwBPD) left suddenly after the night before telling me he was still in love with me. One thing I was wondering- has anyone else seen a trait of pwBPD being almost split personality. For example... .on FB he would post all these cute pics of our dog to get tons of likes, but in reality he hated the dog and kicked her once. He told me he was a devout religious and spiritual man, and had symbols of Judaism all over the house, yet he never really prayed or worshiped. He really wanted to get me pregnant because he loves kids and wanted more (I am pregnant now) but our kids causes him so much stress and he was always annoyed with them. What is this all about?
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FindingMe2011
a.k.a. *BeenThereB4*
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1227



« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2018, 09:28:09 AM »

It’s been 2 weeks since my fiancée (pwBPD) left suddenly after the night before telling me he was still in love with me.

pwBPD have a paradox of conflict when it comes to intimacy and abandonment. The root of the illness, and the root of all issues, for all of us. Too much intimacy spurs abandonment issues, and visa versa... .If one truly understands the illness, pwBPD actions, and words, can be very predictable

One thing I was wondering- has anyone else seen a trait of pwBPD being almost split personality. For example... .

Its not called Borderline for no reason... .Spent 12 1/2 yrs with pwBPD... .Saw plenty of masks, and reached the final masks, on a few occasions... .Typically pwBPD will mirror you in the beginning... .and you fall in love with you... .Its unsustainable, and pwBPD has completed the cycle... .wash, rinse, repeat... .the hamster wheel of pain

He really wanted to get me pregnant because he loves kids and wanted more (I am pregnant now) but our kids causes him so much stress and he was always annoyed with them. What is this all about?


Telling someone something, and SHOWING someone something, has 2 different meanings, right? When a person SHOWS you something... .BELIEVE THEM

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Lucky Jim
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 6211


« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2018, 10:30:09 AM »

Hey Rollermom, I suggest that it's all part of what I refer to as the "paradox of BPD."  In other words, those w/BPD act in ways that lead directly to a result they seek to avoid.  For example: they want love, yet behave in unloving fashion; they fear abandonment, yet will push you away; they seek peace, yet cause turmoil and drama; they strive to make progress, then self-sabotage whatever gains they achieve; they hurt those who love and care about them the most; and on and on.  On one hand, their behavior is irrational; on the other hand, it is quite predictable that they will undermine things that most would be grateful for.

LuckyJim

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