This is when I want to reach out

[FindingMe2011]

The custody or well being of my child is void of your opinion.

Than may I suggest, you shouldnt posts, or mention your son... .Maybe a little research on the effects of BPD, on children... .It may or may not, swing your opinion... .Its believed by many, that ones personality, is about 90% complete by the age of 7, with not a whole lot, of wiggle room... .I wish u well, PEACE

[JNChell]

Findingme2011, I hope you won’t avoid me on here. I am “raw” in my feelings currently. It becomes difficult to try to take advice on sitting with my feelings and being patient, and being given advice from a pragmatic POV. Patience/Push-on-now. I’ve done research on the possibilities of how our Son may be affected by her. I’ve asked questions about it on here to try to gain some insight from those that have gone through it in real time. Stats that I’ve read have suggested that the brain is pretty hard wired by age 5. Not that that wiring can’t be redirected, but it takes therapy to do so. I didn’t mean to run you off. Maybe we’ll reconnect on another board during my progression. My ex and her ex husband avoided court with their child. I’m hoping the same can happen with our situation. Family court is notorious for devouring the Father. I’d rather not have to go there unless it becomes absolutely necessary.

[FindingMe2011]

Family court is notorious for devouring the Father.  

This will vary, from state to state... .Most whom see a pattern of 50/50, leading up to custody decision, will grant 50/50... .This is not possible for many men, for many different reasons... .I can only say it became a place of sanctuary, for my 2 girls... .And another blessing, as it also turned out, that I was a much better parent, out of the r/s, than i ever could have been, in it

I’d rather not have to go there unless it becomes absolutely necessary.

For me, after a few times of, prearranged exchanges not happening, changes in plans, ect, ect, SHE SHOWED ME HOW THIS WAS GOING TO BE... .it was just another weapon, for her to control me... .and it was going to be impossible, to truly detach, from this dysfunctional r/s... .I hope you dont have to go there, and her ACTIONS, will tell you what u need to know... .There really is an order, to the disorder... .

I didn’t mean to run you off. Maybe we’ll reconnect on another board during my progression.

Ive been here, off and on for 7 yrs... .Very instrumental in becoming, mentally healthier... .I took no offense, nor need an apology of any sort. This is about your recovery, not mine... .I spent many yrs, believing i was doing the right thing... .Only to understand, I was lying to myself, and enabling the behaviour, I grew to despise... .I was 50% of the problem... .I wish u well, PEACE