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Author Topic: Hello. I know my mom has NSD and possibly BPD.  (Read 363 times)
Greekhousewife
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 1


« on: January 20, 2018, 01:53:40 AM »

My mother and I have been estranged for 8 months (This time).  I'm finally in therapy and now that I'm 57 years old am realizing that it's her and not me.  It's so freeing (and hurtful) at the same time realizing everything I've had to endure my whole life. 

Anyway, I'm glad to have found a site where there are people I can relate to.  :-)
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Turkish
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2013; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12105


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« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2018, 10:30:35 PM »

NSD... .do you mean NPD, or is this something else?

In any case,

Welcome

How can we help support you Greekhousewife?

Turkish
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    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
ArtemisGardens

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 7


« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2018, 03:00:26 PM »

Welcome! 
I am also currently estranged from my BPD-mother (3 weeks this time, also probably the 17th time in the last 24 months). I completely understand the feeling of being "free" but also "hurting" at the same time.     I am also newly in therapy. 
One thing I have done before that hindered my strength was go over and over the past. You mentioned that you are realizing all that you have had to endure your whole life. Right there with you. Reading self care books/articles made me identify all kinds of abuse I had no idea that were actually abuse at the time.  There is one important thing you need to realize also  Attention(click to insert in post) You did not deserve any of the abuse that happened to you.   Attention(click to insert in post)
Currently, the goal is focusing on self-care and setting boundaries. I got the self-care down, but I have no idea what to do setting boundaries which is why I am here.
Tips for self care-
Put affirmations on your bathroom mirror. Read them out loud every time you take a shower. If your mother calls you ugly, write down "I am beautiful inside and out." If your mother tries to make you believe you are a failure, write down examples of things you are actually proud of. They can be small things like "I have a beautiful garden." Whatever YOU have done or created that YOU are actually proud of is valid and means you are a success. Read them out loud every day until you believe it.

I wish you peace,  , and healing.
-AG
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