Realizing my mom has BPD traits

[SBG0918]

Hello.

I'm reading "How to stop walking on eggshells" realizing it described my mother.

Since she ruined this past Christmas (again) I haven't spoken to her. Every time I try she just yells at me and irrationally accuses me of ruining everything.

I need help on how to move forward. I need to talk to someone. I realize something has to change but I've been living this way for 31 years.

I'm married and I have two children under 5 who are very much affected by this absence of their grandmother. I need to know what to do, what steps to take to mend this relationship. I feel like I'm wasting time, time is precious, but I can't go back to the way it used to be.

Please help.

[ArtemisGardens]

I am 28 and just now seeking professional help to deal with my BPD mother. It has helped me so much and I have only been to 2 sessions. I also recommend the book "Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship" by Christine Ann Lawson (cheapest thru Audible.com). I am new to the BPD Family and I am still trying to learn how to set boundaries with my BPD mother which is why I have joined the site. One thing I have learned through therapy is to practice self-care and know that it is not selfish. The best thing you can do for yourself and your children is to take care of your own mental health first. Be there for yourself so you can be there for your children.

I wish you health, strength, and  .

-AG