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Author Topic: This too has passed  (Read 521 times)
itgetsbetter94
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 161


This too shall pass.


« on: January 24, 2018, 04:15:59 PM »

Finally.  I'm finally over him.
It got better. Smiling (click to insert in post)

My magic formula: reaching out for help (friends, family, psychiatrist, priest) + prayer + conscious decision to heal + passing of time.

I cannot say I'm 100% healed, but I'm 80% healed. The thought of him doesn't trigger the emotional response in me any longer. I know he got engaged.  He can be happy for all I care. The though of him being happy with someone else doesn't bother me anymore. I'm letting him go. I'm setting myself free.

I met a guy. Maybe it will work out, maybe it won't. I'm taking baby steps this time.

I just wanted to post this here, as an ending to my story.
My agony laster for 4.5 months, and we were in r/s for 2 months.

I don't ever want to cross path with someone from cluster B. I will be able to recognize them now, though.

This experience changed me in a way that it took off my pink Disney-esque love- conquers-all glasses. I still believe in love, but I cannot be fooled again into the love scam. Only healthy love from now for me please!

I'm wishing you all the best of luck in your recovery from this madness.  There is a way out and the pain is the way out!
Find a good therapist, pray a lot, talk to your friends, write in your journal, have faith that things will change for the better.

As J.K.Rowling wrote in the last sentence of Harry Potter-

"all was well."
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♡ I'm wearing my heart like a crown ♡
These violent delights have violent ends.
happendtome
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 217


« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2018, 02:54:28 AM »

Im glad that you worked out this. You did it very quickly and my suggestion for you would be that you wouldnt rush, but only you know where you stand at the moment.

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gotbushels
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1586



« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2018, 07:52:34 AM »

Finally.  I'm finally over him.

It got better. Smiling (click to insert in post)

My magic formula: reaching out for help (friends, family, psychiatrist, priest) + prayer + conscious decision to heal + passing of time.

I cannot say I'm 100% healed, but I'm 80% healed.

The thought of him doesn't trigger the emotional response in me any longer.
Plain fantastic.  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Thank you for sharing itgetsbetter94.

Good luck on your journey and I hope you find peace. Please do drop in from time to time, many people can use what you learned to get through their own difficult times after their relationship. Sometimes too, learning can happen for months following the relationship with the pwBPD.  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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heartandwhole
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3592



« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2018, 08:04:23 AM »

Great news, itgetsbetter94!  I love these kinds of posts. We need hope and positivity here, too.

Happy for you. I hope you'll stick around and share your wisdom with others... .Smiling (click to insert in post)

heartandwhole
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When the pain of love increases your joy, roses and lilies fill the garden of your soul.
EdR
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Friend
Posts: 435


« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2018, 03:13:50 PM »

Hi itgetsbetter!

I am really happy for you and wish you all the best!

I really hope I will be able to feel the same way soon. However, I am sad to say I doubt that...
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gotbushels
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1586



« Reply #5 on: January 29, 2018, 09:03:59 AM »

I really hope I will be able to feel the same way soon. However, I am sad to say I doubt that...
A lot of us here have doubts through each of our journeys EdR. I encourage you with self-compassion to give yourself the time. Keep on walking--it gets better.  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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Turkish
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12183


Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2018, 12:41:44 AM »

I remember the night I chose my path.  I had experienced the push after one real date, after a couple of months of "friend dating." I was mad. Then that night I got the text,  "I'm going to see [movie] do you want to meet me?" It would have been ok for me to politely decline and see her as a peer in the volunteer program we were in. 

I was angry,  then thought,  I should "give love a chance." It wasn't love, it was need,  on both of our parts. I don't want to repeat this.

Congratulations to you for moving on.  Like heartandwhole, I also wish you stick around and share your healing journey with others.  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
heartandwhole
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« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2018, 03:49:34 AM »

It wasn't love, it was need,  on both of our parts. I don't want to repeat this.

Totally resonate with that, Turkish, thank you for expressing it so well.
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When the pain of love increases your joy, roses and lilies fill the garden of your soul.
pearlsw
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 2801


"Be kind whenever possible, it is always possible"


« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2018, 06:39:48 PM »

Only healthy love from now for me please!

I hear ya on that one! I prefer to stay single a good long time, but in any case only healthy stuff in my life when/if this ends!

You aren't going away are ya? Your insights could be of help to others - hope we see around here/giving back! 
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Walk on a rainbow trail, walk on a trail of song, and all about you will be beauty. There is a way out of every dark mist, over a rainbow trail. - Navajo Song
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