learning to accept

[bluek9]

It's been two days since I'v checked in. I have been sick with an awful cold, so afraid it was the flu. I have been plesantly surprised my BPD d. Usually is she so demanding all the time, since I came home from work on Saturday saying that I'm sick she has actually been letting me rest. We have a psychatrist appointment tomorrow that's 2 hours away and she is already having bad anxiety over it. I'm still not feeling my best but I'm going to make sure we go that appointment. I've just finished reading the book "I hate you don't leave me". Very enlightening it's like reading my daughters life story. Right now I'm putting into practice the SET concept. I struggle with it, I need time to respond to her with support and empathy. No it's not that it's a hard concept, it's hard sometimes because of the  overly dramatic things she can come up with. One of the phrases in the book was learn to accept the consistanly unconsistant. That's a tough one. Thanks to everyone in this community, my daughters inconsistancy will continue, I will too with all your support.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Feeling Better]

Hi bluek9

Sorry to hear you have a bad cold, hope it gets better soon. I am currently at the tail end of mine so know how you are feeling.

I’m glad to hear that you are using S.E.T, you are obviously committed to helping your daughter, she is very lucky to have you onboard.

I didn’t have the opportunity to use S.E.T. with my uBPD son, sadly I found out about BPD and how to deal with it after he had gone to live in another country and then he decided to go n/c with me. That doesn’t deter me though from learning as much as I can about BPD, and the different tools to be found here are also very helpful, who knows, a time might come in the future when I will be able to apply my new found knowledge.

Keep learning and keep posting bluek9, we are all with you x

[Mutt]

Hi bluek9,

No it's not that it's a hard concept, it's hard sometimes because of the  overly dramatic things she can come up with

We have workshop that you might find I retesting in radical acceptance, radical acceptance is a personal process where you come at peace internally with a painful life event or a difficult family member has caused a lot of pain. Instead of hoping that things will change with that person it’s accepting them as they are. Your D is who she is BPD is a personality disorder in the dramatic cluster along with histrionic personality disorder, narcissist personality disorder.

Radical Acceptance For Family Members (DBT skill)

I’d suggest working on radical acceptance and I’d maybe take a look at how you react to it or how you get rid of stress?