After Period of NC, Ex Asked to Go on Trip with Me. Why?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

As some of you know my ex broke NC yesterday and we’ve been talking but she just asked if I wanted to go on a trip with her this summer... it was completely random and she’s acting as if nothing EVER HAPPENED. As if she never hurt me or threatened me. It’s like she’s picking up where she left off & per usual she brought up someone I dated after she discarded me the first time

[savreina]

As some of you know my ex broke NC yesterday and we’ve been talking but she just asked if I wanted to go on a trip with her this summer... it was completely random and she’s acting as if nothing EVER HAPPENED. As if she never hurt me or threatened me. It’s like she’s picking up where she left off & per usual she brought up someone I dated after she discarded me the first time

[BeagleGirl]

Do you feel like you are able to answer the following questions:

-Do you want to have a relationship (romantic or otherwise) with this person?

-If so, what kind of relationship would you like to have?

-What are the things you refuse to have be a part of that relationship?

-Are you capable of/ready to have the kind of relationship you want to have with her?

-Are you capable of/ready to end a relationship with her if those things you refuse to have in a relationship start popping up?

If I may offer some advice, I think that now is a really good time to shift your focus away from what she wants or may be offering to what you want and are willing to accept/offer in return.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Sav, It sounds a little weird to me for her to invite you, out of the blue, to take a trip w/her this Summer.  When you say she broke N/C yesterday, I'm wondering whether you prefer to remain NC?  On the other hand, maybe you are interested in a recycle?  If so, plenty of us have done it, including me, though I would ask you, what make you think things would play out differently this time?  As BeagleGirl suggests, it's a good time to zero in on what you would like to see happen.  What is the right path for you?  It's your call, my friend, not hers.

LuckyJim

[tiki]

Isn’t it all a little predictable though? No one on this board is going to be like... what? No way. I mean, right? Unless are you interested in friendship? I sometimes wonder if friendship is possible after they shed their obsession. I guess not though because you would still be in danger of shifting to their number 1 position. Which apperantly is the worst thing to be.

[Turkish]

Is it crossing your mind to go?

My ex asked me to go to Hawaii last year with her and the kids.  She's seperated, but still married. 

[Harley Quinn]

Savreina,

You've been asked some really good questions here by BeagleGirl and everyone else.  I'd encourage you to give this some thought.  What you decide will have an effect on you either way.  Consider the risk versus the benefit.  Realistically, with what you know of her behaviour, do you see yourself accepting that type of behaviour on an ongoing basis in your life?  We will support you here through whatever you decide.

Love and light x